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Help - My Mother Won’t Eat.



I’m sorry if this is the wrong forum, but I’m at my wits end.

My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer back in February. By the time it was recognised, it’d already spread to her liver.

Throughout it all, she’s had difficulty eating; at first everything, even water, simply tasted bad. But now she’s hardly eating anything at all; I estimate a good day is when she gets 800 calories.

I don’t know what to do to help her; I’ve tried reasoning, pleading, begging, being strict, but she just says she can’t eat more. The idea of eating just repulses her and I don’t know what to do!

Tomorrow we’re going to try Fresubin again, but I don’t have a lot of hope.

Does anyone have any advice? My mother’s got to the point where she can barely walk; she’s anaemic and has a persistent antibiotic resistant bladder infection, all of which I’m sure would, if not go away, then be a lot more manageable  if I can just get food into her.

Thank you for your time.

Posted by

Sorry to read this, struggles over eating are incredibly common and never easy, sometimes it can help to suggest that while we know it is difficult there is a simple choice - eat at home or you will get so weak you will need to be admitted to hospital. 

Does your mother have a care package at home, it might help to work together to see what can be done.

Hope you manage to make some progress on this, I can hear how upsetting it is for you




Thank you.

I've tried every argument I can think of: she just can't bring herself to eat.

Its not like she's resigned herself: she wants to get better, and she tells me that eating doesn't hurt, it's just repulsive.

I can't explain it better because I don't understand it.

Though my understanding is less important than finding a solution.

Thank you again.

Posted by

Hi.  I completely understand how you feel,  my husband also has challenges eating,  hates the thought, the smell and taste of mostly everything.  The only thing that he does tolerate is sweet stuff.  Chocolate,  custard,  yoghurt and rice pudding.  Though not an ideal diet at least it's something. 

Love and Best wishes Mandy 

Cry when you have to....
Smile when you can.  X

Thank you.

My mother has now been moved into hospice care; I'm hoping against hope that they'll be able to give her the support we could not.

Posted by

Hello my lovely

My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer a few years ago, speak to the hospice nurse and ask them why mum doesnt want to eat, ask them to explain. I'm sending you a massive hug and all of my love to you and your gorgeous mum X


Thank you for your support.

Unfortunately things have taken a turn for the worse.

I'm hoping for a miracle, but we've been informed my mother may have only days left.

We're trying to make her comfortable.

Thank you.

Posted by

Hi have you tried a smoothie machine. Excellent way to get vitamins/fat into a person. Hope this helps