Family and friends

If a member of your family or a friend, or someone else you know is living with cancer, this group is the place to share your feelings and get support.

My dad has terminal bile duct cancer struggling to cope.

Posted by

Hi all, I am new here just joined today. My dad has been ill for a while but kept it to himself. I feel so guilty that I didn’t spot he wasn’t well, I made him go and see a dr because I thought he was going through depression. The GP gave him something for his stomach (Lansoprazole) and asked him to get blood tests the next day his results came back and he was supposed to go in that day but he was forced to go to the job centre and declare himself FIT FOR WORK. The next day we went into the drs and he was admitted to hospital for 3 days and was told he has about 6 weeks. His cancer has spread its branching off like a tree to all his functions like liver and pancreas. I am in shock and even though I have a massive family my dad only wants me to care for him. I haven’t slept properly in months in general I can’t cry in front of him as you can imagine every one else has and I have to be strong for him. I have to disassociate detach myself from my mind and body. He won’t get support from Macmillan at the moment as he keeps saying he won’t be here like he’s going to go any minute. He’s eating which is absolutely fantastic but he’s lost more weight. I am so tired this as all happened in ONE WEEK. I am having breakdowns so huge when I am not with. I just need to know I am not alone and I can come here and share how I feel.

Posted by

Hi , and welcome to the community though so sorry to hear about your dad and everything you both have been going through.

Although your dad does not at the moment want support from Macmillan I am very glad you have come to us. On here it is pretty much just people just like you at all stages of this process and the emotions you describe are absolutely normal. 

One of the issues with a prognosis is it a guess, nobody really knows o it can be hard to feel like crossing days off rather than making the most of how you both feel every day.

While your dad might not want support from your family I hope you can get some support, even if it is one other person who can field all the phone calls to take that extra burden off you. 

Whenever you want come on here or if talking to someone might help you give the support line a call 0808 808 0000 open 7 days a week 8am-8pm; they are very patient as I have spent some time crying at them in the past.