Family and friends

If a member of your family or a friend, or someone else you know is living with cancer, this group is the place to share your feelings and get support.

Dads bowel Cancer

Posted by

I’m my dads main carer, he’s been told there’s nothing they can do for him, he’s 88 years old and now has constant diarrhoea, he wears special pads like giant sanitary towel and special ‘knickers’ to keep them in place.. he’s always said he want to die at home, but he’s not on palliative care, which I’m struggling to understand when he’s definitely not going to get better. It’s breaking my heart seeing the strongest bravest man I’ve ever known diminish before my eyes.. I just want what’s best for him and if he wants to die at home with dignity then I think he should be able to.. he’s stubborn and when McMillan contacted him on the phone he said he didn’t need you guys... but I do... I’m at a loss at what to do next to make sure his wishes are granted  

Posted by

Hi , so sorry to hear about your father and sorry there is so little I can do to help.

With my father in a not so dissimilar situation we had to take the decision to move him to a care home as we simply did not have the resources to look after at home even with a care package from the local authority (typically the maximum provision at home is four short visits per day).

We found a really good home and it was a real comfort knowing he was being cared for 24/7 and then we could visit and be sons and daughters again.