Family and friends

If a member of your family or a friend, or someone else you know is living with cancer, this group is the place to share your feelings and get support.

Husband has metastatic rectal cancer

Slat22
Posted by

Hi all

I've just joined the group.  My husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer at the end of February.  He has secondary cancers in lungs and liver.  It's been such a shock.  I have 2 daughters, 13 and 10.  It's all a bit scary.  The original tumour is not curable, but he is receiving radiotherapy followed by chemotherapy.  

Michelle_38
Posted by

Hi, 

I’m so sorry to hear about you husband. It’s such an a awful time.  My mam was diagnosed in Feb with rectal cancer too. Hers is secondary in the liver, she too will be starting chemotherapy in the next few weeks . Not sure what to expect from the treatment and there’s a long road ahead. Just wanted to say hello and let you know if you want a chat just message me. It’s very scary and a roller coaster of emotions. 

Sending big hugs

michelle x

Slat22
Posted by

Hi Michelle 

Thanks for your reply.  Seems like we'll be walking a similar path! It would be great to walk along with you so we can support each other

Sarah xx

Soundgirlrocks
Posted by

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear about your husband, it must be hard for you especially with children in the mix. My mum is also having treatment for rectal cancer, she's had a colostomy & chemo but we have recently found out her blood markers indicate another tumour so we are waiting for PET scan. Would you mind me joining you both? Its helpful to talk to other in the same situation.

Slat22
Posted by

Hi, 

The more the merrier!

Sorry to hear about your Mum.  Tim had a PET scan to look at the tumours they had found on the CT and MRI scans.  He also had a colostomy and will be having chemotherapy in a few weeks.  

He is taking part in a clinical trial- FOCUS 4.  It might be worth enquiring whether your Mum might be suitable?

https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/find-a-clinical-trial/a-trial-looking-at-different-treatments-for-different-types-of-bowel-cancer-focus4

Keep in touch!

Sarah

Soundgirlrocks
Posted by

Hi Sarah,

I'll let mum know about the trial, although I don't know if she would be eligible as she has already had chemo which doesn't appear to have worked.

Michelle_38
Posted by

Hi Sarah, 

How are you? How is your husband doing? It’s been a few weeks now since we last chattet thought I would check in and see how everything is .

Michelle x 

Soundgirlrocks
Posted by

Hi All,

Hope everyone is managing ok? Mum has a secondary in her liver, but its small 2cm. She has decided to go private for surgery to speed things up, but there is some good news the surgeon has said that her prognosis is no worse than when she had her initial surgery and colostomy which is not what any of us was expecting. I'm doing the Great North Swim in a couple of week for Macmillan, Mum was supposed to be coming to cheer me on but hopefully she will be in recovery from the surgery. Its spurred me on with the fundraising! My boyfriend is trying but he has high functioning autism so is struggling to know what to say (or not!) So having a community online has been a big help, and it feels really good to be able to give something back.

Thinking of you all.

Len123
Posted by

Hello slat22. I have been reading through this thread and wondered if I can join you. 

May boyfriend was diagnosed with bowel cancer last September, we are only in our early 40’s with two sons aged 17 and 20. Massive shock and very heartbreaking. Had Curative surgery but following lots of complications after surgery was unable to have chemo. A month or so ago it was discovered that there are some tiny meta on his liver. So now having chemo, second dose completed, having irino mdg. He has just consented to the focus4 trial. Scan in September to see what impact the chemo has had so far. 

Would love to chat with you and anyone else that is in a similar position to us for knowledge and support. 

Hope to hear from you soon. 

Lena x

Len123

Slat22
Posted by

Hi Lena

Sorry to hear you are also on this roller-coaster ride!  Tim has had 3 cycles of chemo so far, and is also on the focus4 trial. 

Happy to chat anytime.  Sarah x

Len123
Posted by

Hi. Thank you for your reply. How is your husband getting on with his chemo? First dose my boyfriend seemed ok with but second dose has given him more side effects, extreme tiredness, feeling quite yucky, feeling like he needs the toilet more often etc. I don’t know a lot about the trial, I know they will do tests in his tumour but I get the impression he won’t have any treatment with it other than the current chemo he’s on and that it’s like forward planning Incase he should need anything else in the future, I might be wrong. 

Lena x

Len123

Stella Eve
Posted by

Hi there

Sorry to hear about your husband. I remember the feeling of shock when my husband was first diagnosed over 3 years ago. He's had 3 years of chemo which he tolerated with very few side effects, and during this time the tumour in his bowel meant he had to have a stoma, During those years he was having chemo he was very active and positive and the nurses at the Royal Bournemouth Hospital and his oncology consultant were wonderful support.

He then had 5 sessions of radiotherapy which knocked him for six, but now he's over that but the chemo/radiotherapy has stopped working and he's under the MacMillan service. He's still fairly active and fairly positive but obviously not as well, and has been given 6 months.I love him so much.

I hope this helps give you a bit of hope, and that when the shock has worn off you will both find peace of mind and all the help and support you need. Remember they are bringing out new meds all the time, and some people are eligible for trials. I wish your family love, best wishes and a big family hug. Love, Stella 

Stella Eve
Posted by

Hi there - I am sorry I posted a reply to you, but it came out further down the line (pen name Stella) Good luck to you and hope you get the help and support you need.

Sorry to be blunt, but if it's terminal you are eligible for a non means tested allowance. The social worker at the hospital, or your consultant should be able to start the ball rolling, and it's a great help. Love, Stella x