Family and friends

If a member of your family or a friend, or someone else you know is living with cancer, this group is the place to share your feelings and get support.

Having a bad day

Elenium
Posted by

I miss mum all the time. My nephew got married recently and spoke about her not being there. He struggled to get the words out and broke down at one point. It's been 2 years and still feels recent.

My friend has had surgery but that's all I know. I don't want to bother her but hoping she'll let me know how she is. It's a very difficult time. 

Xx

Elenium

Michelley
Posted by

I do hope your friend gets in touch and let’s you know how she is I’m sure she will  this will be my first Christmas with out mom and I’m not looking forward to that at all I keep thinking of the good times and the holidays we had and that makes me sadder than anything so I kinda keep it at the back of my mind and try and block it out sounds crazy but it’s working for me . This time last year she was struggling so much and Christmas was a bad time for her so she is at peace now . Take care x

Elenium
Posted by

Everyone always says that the firsts are the hardest but the seconds are hard too. We decided to do something different for our first Christmas without mum. We spent it with my sister at her house. She'd not had Christmas at her house ever, as she always came to us or her in laws. There were no memories to cry over. My sister moved when mum was ill so she never got to visit.  Perhaps you could do something different?

I heard from my friend. She's had her bowel removed and her ovaries. They're waiting for the results to see what the next stage is.

Xx

Elenium

Michelley
Posted by

Yes I’m thinking we could do something it’s my dad that worries me he is 85 this year and he is coping so well really but he does cry a lot 

I do hope your friend as a speedy recovery it’s not just the physical side of it it’s the mental side is so much more to deal with and the menopause as well with the ovaries gone as well sending hugs  

Elenium
Posted by

It's very hard isn't it?

Spoke to my friend tonight. She's being very positive. She said the pain is getting less. She's practising mindfulness. I can't do that at the best of times! She's got to have chemo but not for a few more  weeks. At least she's talking. I've not been to see her as I'm waiting for her to be ready. I just told her to let me know when she wants me to come.

Hope you're OK and sending you hugs. X

Elenium

Michelley
Posted by

That’s all you can do elenium at least she as spoke to you now on my face book page today my mom came up on my news feed from 3 years ago it was a video and she was on the exercise bike in the parso funny but couldn’t share it. But it was nice to hear her voice missed her this weekend as been to London to see my youngest son And thought of her all the time as she so did worry about him . I crying as I Right this all the emotions of the cancer and people who are going through it all like we did is so overwhelming. Sending you a big hug today x

Elenium
Posted by

How lovely to have a video. I wish I had done that. We had a big family get together on Sunday. We always all got together once a year for mum's birthday and we've decided to carry it on. Stopped at the cemetery on the way. I was very emotional as I wanted her to be there. It was a lovely day, she would have been pleased. 

I always have loads of things come up on FB about mum. I still cry but happy to have those memories. 

My friend is doing OK. She's going to have chemo but has to wait another few weeks. She's still very positive. 

My husband's aunt went to get the results of her lung biopsy today. We've not heard anything so guessing it's bad. She's so lovely. As mad as a box of frogs but so kind. So bloody awful. 

Sending you a big hug Michelley. Keep hold of those memories and smile. That's what she'd want you to do. X

Elenium

Michelley
Posted by

She would had another sad day yesterday had to have my beautiful dog put to sleep she was 14 I seem to have had everything thrown at me this year and can feel my self unraveling like my life is out of control my control. I need to get stronger and focus on the good things. I’m worried about absolutely everything and everybody it’s funny how you can get comfort talking to some one who you have never met before and get comfort from it so thank you for being there and how this sad story is now on page 177 . Hope your friend is doing ok xx 

Elenium
Posted by

Oh I'm so sorry Michelley. I lost one of my lovely dogs last year. So hard.

Sometimes it's OK to just give in and be a heap on the floor, you know. But after a while you have to pick yourself up and get on with it. I still give myself a day sometimes where I sit on the sofa, in my pj's,  eating crap and watching crappy TV. It helps.

I'm glad I can be here for you. X

Elenium

Elenium
Posted by

Just found out husband's aunt's cancer has spread to her brain and eye. 

Fucking hate cancer! 

Elenium

Michelley
Posted by

I’m so sorry yet more anguish for you all it’s so hard. 

Im ok daisy was 14 but to see her suffer I just had to take her I’m trying to focus on happier times but it’s hard . I will get another dog next year . Hope your friend is coping ok my friend with the bowel cancer as to go for a scan to see if it’s gone any were else apparently they have left her for 9 month to give it chance to show up some were else she is so scared she goes on the 17th sept I’m praying for her x 

Elenium
Posted by

Staying in the hospice with auntie tonight. I've got a splitting headache and can't sleep. I jump everytime she moves. 

They were hoping that she could have chemo but have said definitely not now. She told me tonight "I haven't got long, you know". She said she keeps reminding everyone so they get used to the idea. She's still laughing and cracking jokes. She's told us that no one is allowed to grizzle and everyone has to smile. She's a tough old bird and is loved so much.

My MIL (her sister) is poorly too. I think she's giving up. When auntie goes we're worried that'll finish her off.

My friend is doing OK. She still doesn't want visitors but we text every few days.

Sending positive thoughts to your friend and crossing fingers. 

XXX

Elenium

Pjdays
Posted by

  

Just as long as your friend is still texting, she knows you're there to support her when she needs it.

Reading this reminds me being in with my mum - couldn't sleep a wink and literally counting the seconds between each breath 

Need to get rest when/where you can - need to keep your strength up too  xx

Michelley
Posted by

Well the circle of life continues it frightens me . You are supporting her and being there for her I do hope she is not frightened that’s all I think about when my mom passed she was on her own and I always think was she frightened at the end . Your friend is texting that’s good and I’m sure she will want some company when she feels better . Take care my friend x

Elenium
Posted by

I'm so very tired. 

It's a bad day today. Can't stop thinking about mum and how much I miss her. It hurts. 

Your mum might not have been frightened at the end. My mum said she was frightened of leaving us but at the end she was calm and peaceful. Leaving all that pain behind has to be a good thing. Hopefully your mum was calm too.

I think auntie is worried about us. She is very religious and firmly believes she is going to a better place. She is very brave and strong. My mum believed she would be reunited with my dad. 

I don't know what I believe. 

Just too sad tonight. 

Elenium