Family and friends

If a member of your family or a friend, or someone else you know is living with cancer, this group is the place to share your feelings and get support.

First Post : When your Parent has Cancer

Astroboy1973
Posted by

Hi I know it’s unbearable but it does get a bit easier as I have found you can’t maintain that level of panic for a long period of time , we found out in September about my niece and then November about my dad , I was (and still do) having panic attacks about it . Once the treatment plan starts it gets a bit easier knowing what your up against . My three year old knows Grandad is poorly and he gives me a hug if I don’t manage to hide that I’m

Upset but most of the time he gets on with his own little world . We FaceTime grandad so the kids can see his hair loss gradually rather than seeing him suddenly with no hair . It’s so hard . The Macmillan how to talk to children helped a bit . And it also helped telling the ladies at his playschool so they knew what was going on and to look out for him and me actually , they’ve been great . I don’t live near my parents so not being able to pop round is really hard as I feel stuck here when I feel like I want to be there . I have good friends here though who I text sometimes if I’m struggling . I hope you have some support too . Lots of love x

Astroboy1973
Posted by

Hi I’m so sorry about your mum and completely understand your overwhelming anxiety . Dad was diagnosed in November and I have been going through a range of emotions from sheer panic to sadness and back again . I think the not knowing all the information makes you fear the worst especially given what you’ve already been through . 

I was very close to my grandad too he lived with us growing up he was like a father figure too as my dad was always at work or away with work . It took me ages to get over losing him so I really can feel your sadness about losing yours . We also had a lot of deaths in our family growing up and they were sudden , this is the first time for me that there is an illness first so it’s like a prolonged grieving before they’ve even gone . I saw my Dad at the weekend and asked lots of questions I hadn’t wanted to ask for fear of upsetting him or my mum , but it really helped to ask and know more . I also told him how I felt about him so that at least if anything should happen suddenly I have told him how much I love him . Maybe you could do that too with your mum or in a letter if you can’t get the words out . Take care of yourself xx

Doris777p
Posted by

Yeah that makes alot of sence. Im alot more calm this week but I'm still emotional about everything. I'm trying to get him to come and stay with me for abit as neither of us drive so it's quite difficult like with yourself..I bet that's so hard having 2 loved ones battling this awful illness!! Yeah I bet the hair loss is going to be really hard. I guess I'm quite lucky with that one as my dad's hardly any hair as it is lol. But its still going to be difficult to come to terms with.

Thanks for the advice I'll have a look about how to talk to her in the future about him. I've told her preschool about it all and they have been really good about it all and are fantastic with us both which is a blessing. Think where ment to be seeing the Macmillan nurses at some point soon so I'm going to have a good talk to them about everything.


I hope your all doing ok xx

Astroboy1973
Posted by

Hi hope talking to Macmillan nurses helps , good to talk to them when you’re on your own so you don’t have the added worry of asking questions that might feel too awful to ask in front of loved ones . 

Dad had 4th chemo yesterday and my niece gets her results Monday , I feel so sad last 24hrs , looking after the kids is so hard as I just feel like breaking down and have to keep going in another room . 


Take care of yourself x

Doris777p
Posted by

Hi hows your family getting on?

I'm hoping this coming week I can get into talk to them about everything and try and get support for us both..he's alot of appointments coming up over these next couple of weeks so fingers crossed we can figure out what is going on. All this waiting around is driving us up the wall!


I've felt like that...I've had some good days and then some really bad days. It time it will pass tho. Your not on your own xz