Family and friends

If a member of your family or a friend, or someone else you know is living with cancer, this group is the place to share your feelings and get support.


Posted by

Hi everyone,

About a year and a half ago, my granddad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, which we now know to be terminal. About 3 months ago, he was given months to live.

He went into the hospice for pain control in October, then was moved to the hospital after contracting an infection (of which the root cause is not known), which by the time he moved hadn't been beaten. He contracted another infection (again, the root course is not known) on Christmas Eve, and was transferred back to the hospice for end-of-life care (at this point, he was given days to live). Now that the infection treatment has been removed, he beat the infection and is back to months to live.

The cycle of going from months-to-live to days-to-live and back to months-to-live seems to happen regularly (almost on a fortnightly basis). I'm really confused, partly because I prepare myself that he's going to die within days, and then he gets better, so I don't know what to think. It's sapping a lot of my energy, which isn't good as I'm a second-year student at university, and also training for the Great Birmingham Run in October (fundraising for Macmillan).

I'd really appreciate it if you could advise me on what steps I take next, as I'm at an impasse and don't know what to do next.


Posted by

hello - so sorry to hear of your situation. my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer last october and whilst it's at stage 3 b and the doctors advised us it was serius with a poor prognosis, i've come to the conclusion all anyone can ever tell you is what might happen rather than any certainties and that's the worst thing about this disease. we all like to have an inkling of what lies ahead, all i'd been told and read seemed to indicate that only palliative tratment would be available and the survival rate for his cancer was less than a year. now we seem to be on an active treatment plan and they can't really say what might happen. as i'm a nurse  - in children's services so a little different to adults, i also know palliative care can go on for some people for quite a long time. all i can say, is that perhaps with your grandad getting infections and if they could't identify why or where they had started - perhaps they felt they had to prepare you for the worst as they weren't sure if he could beat them. but he has which is positive news and he obviously is stronger than perhaps anyone knows. you could have a talk with his doctor and ask if this is something they've seen with other people - but it may also be a time where you literally have to take each day as it comes and make the most of the time you have with him. well done to you for taking part in the marathon - you must also be a strong person and i bet your grandad is really proud of you!