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Things have got worse

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My husband found out he had bladder cancer in May and is also suffering from sciatica, which is probably bone Mets too, which we asked about months ago, but the gp dismissed it.  Also today he had had his lung cancer confirmed, again this was missed on ct scan done on 1st june, plus now he had prostate cancer too.  How can all of this be missed.  Life for my husband and I is so grim and our gp just thinks we are a bother.  What i want primarily is for my husband not to be in pain in his leg.

Ellen M-Macmillan
Posted by

Hi ,

Thanks for getting back in touch with us.

I’m sorry to read that since your last post, you have been told that the sciatica that your husband is experiencing is possibly due to bone mets. And that it’s now been confirmed that he has a lung and prostate cancer too. I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling just now.

You’re right, the priority is to get his pain managed better, there is nothing worse than watching someone you love suffer. Caring for someone with cancer can be difficult, you’re doing a great job. But it’s important that you both get the support that you need to help manage his pain better.

I’m sorry to read that you feel that his GP thinks you’re both a bother. There are other health care professionals other than your husband’s GP who can help to manage his pain. You can ask his GP/ hospital team/ specialist nurse to refer him to a palliative care team/nurse for pain management. They can also provide that all important emotional support too.

If his pain is due to bone mets there are other treatment options as well as pain killers that can be helpful. You can talk to his team about their suitability.

We have this information about pain and what support is available to help your husband.

It’s understandable given this latest news that you’re questioning why all of this could have been missed. It’s difficult for us to say why this happened in your husband’s situation. Only the doctors looking after him can help you both to have a better understanding of why.

Does your husband have a specialist nurse at the hospital that you can contact? If, so, you can give them a call and ask if you and your husband can see the consultant again to go over his X-rays and tests that he has had. This is the time to ask why his lung cancer was missed on the CT scan taken on the 1st of June.

If he doesn’t have a specialist nurse, you can call his consultant’s secretary to organise an appointment.

If after seeing his specialist, you both don’t feel happy with the information and explanations that you have been given you can complain. There are different ways that you can do this depending on where you live in the UK. If you live in

England, you can contact the PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) department at your hospital who can look into your concerns for you. We have this information if you want to complain and also guidance about asking for a second opinion.

It’s important that you get support and look after yourself too (I know that can be easier said than done). But taking some YOU time can help to recharge the batteries so that you can keep doing what you’re already doing so well.

You can also join our welcoming carers and family and friends group as there really is nothing quite like the support that you can get from others who know what it’s like.

It can help to give our Support Line a call on 0808-808-0000 and talk to one of the nurses about what is happening. Our lines are open 8am till 8pm.

Best wishes and take care

Ellen-Macmillan Online Digital Nurse Specialist.