Ask a nurse

Do you have a question about cancer? Our Digital Nurse Ellen or one of our specialist nurses will aim to respond within 2 working days.

Small cell lung cancer terminal

Bombie
Posted by

Oh bless him, I hope you have him for Xmas too! I feel so scared that this will be my last Xmas with my poor dad too x

Minnie2011
Posted by

We just have to cherish every day we get with them and be as strong as possible in front of them but at home I struggle so much. I can’t stand to be in the house alone I just want to spend my days with Mam and dad and do as much as I can. Work have been very supportive but I worry about using all my holidays.

Ellen M-Macmillan
Posted by

Hi ,

We’re sorry to read that you’ve been told that your dad has a short time to live. It’s natural to want to spend as much time with your mum and dad as you can. It’s because you love them so much that’s making you feel like this just now.

I do hope that you’ve been managing to get support and look after yourself, as this will help you to keep up your strength to keep caring and doing what you’re doing so well for your parents.

It’s encouraging to see that you and have been talking and supporting each other during this difficult time for you both. There really is nothing quite like the support that you can get from others who know what it’s like.

Having work supporting you is great, but it’s also understandable why you’re worried about using all your holidays. I can see that you’ve had a great reply and information from one of our Work Support Advisors. I hope you found it helpful.

Remember that you can also give us a call and talk to us on 0808-808-0000. Our lines are open every day from 8am till 8pm.

Best wishes and take care.

Ellen-Macmillan Online Digital Nurse Specialist.

Minnie2011
Posted by

Hi Bombie

We sadly lost my dad last night, he passed without any pain and very quick.

heartbroken x

Billythedog
Posted by

Hi Minnie2011. May I offer you my Deepest Sympathy for the loss of your Dad. I'm so Sorry.

God Bless You All 

May Your Dad Rest In Peace

X

BILLYTHEDOG
Ellen M-Macmillan
Posted by

Hi

We’re sorry to read about your dad. On behalf of the Online Community please accept our deepest sympathy to you and all the family during this sad time.

Hopefully you are surrounded by your family and friends and getting the support that you need. If you feel that it would help to talk to others in a similar situation remember we have a very supportive online group that supports each other when they have lost someone they love.

You can also contact our Support Line on 0808-808-0000 and talk to us. Our lines are open every day from 8am till 8pm.

Take Care

Ellen-Macmillan Online Digital Nurse Specialist.

Bombie
Posted by

Oh Minnie2011 I’m so so sorry to hear this awful news! I haven’t been on here for a while and wanted to come and check on you and him. I feel devastated for you

I’m so scared for the future of my poor dad. Sending love and healing to you and your family xx

Minnie2011
Posted by

Thank you Bombie

We held his funeral on Friday, I’ve been coping pretty ok until now, there’s nothing to focus on and everything and everyone seems to just have gone back to normal. I’m finding this rather difficult and I feel very angry now. 

My advice would be to make every day count and say everything you need to be said. I had a lovely conversation with my dad on the morning he passed and I will never forget the smile on his face when we made sure we both knew how much we loved each other.

Thinking of you every day xx

Bombie
Posted by

That’s lovely that you had that moment minnie2011 but I am dreading it. I don’t think I will be able to hold myself together! I totally get that you’re angry that people are just carrying on! I’m so scared for what’s coming. I have a friend who’s dad was told he was terminal 6 years ago and part of me thinks “oh this could be us” but then my dad has this cancer that’s so aggressive and you’ve lost your poor father after 7 months since diagnosis so I know it’s fast progressing. I don’t think my mum is coping that well as she keeps talking about us all going on holiday in a couple of years etc and I feel like screaming that dad will probably not be here!! I hate cancer, it’s bullshit and I feel so angry that there’s no cure out there x

Minnie2011
Posted by

Hi Bombie

just thought I would check in and ask how things are going and how you are ? 
your absolutely right it is bullshit it’s horrendous and you would think in 2019 something could be done! 
my mam was the same, the morning of the day dad passed she was on about them moving to a bungalow etc and it’s hard not to shout that’s not gonna happen Cos they don’t want to seem like they are giving up on their husband. It’s Heartbreaking to watch your mams life fall apart when your hurting so much too.

i really hope your keeping as well as u can do and feel free to rant on here any time u need to 

xx

Bombie
Posted by

Hi Minnie2011

Thanks for the message. I’ve just been to my parents for lunch today and my dad was feeling really rough for the first time since starting chemo. Now im scared he will deteriorate! My mum gives him a hard time for having a drink with lunch because the nurses said not to but when I asked doc he said it’s ok and I’ve got a friend who’s had breast cancer and she drunk a lot! He just likes the odd can of beer and some wine on a Sunday but he’s being deprived of such a little thing. Did your dad drink? 

I hope you are healing and feeling a little better each day and I hope your poor mum is ok on her own. It’s heartbreaking thinking of them alone suddenly x

Billythedog
Posted by

Bombie I have just seen your last post about your Poor Dad and having a Tipple with his Lunch. There is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine or a can of beer with Chemo having been done a few days ago. Your Mom is hurting too and she should not deprive him of this little thing. A bit of what you fancy does you good. As long as he isn't falling around drunk in the hospital or at home I say let him!

God Bless You All at this Tough Time.

BILLYTHEDOG
Minnie2011
Posted by

Hi Bombie 


Yes my dad used to have a couple of cans if he was watching the football, the nurses and doctors said to dad that if he felt like having a drink then to go for it. 
On his very last go of the chemo he didn’t feel up to any drink at all bless him but by then he was very poorly. 
when dad was in hospital for the very last time his consultant said we could take some cans in for him if he wanted one though. 
mam has come to stay with us tonight and get a takeaway, it’s nice having her here so we can make sure she’s ok and gets a good sleep. 
xxx

Bombie
Posted by

Billythedog

Thanks for your reply. I didn’t think there would be any harm but I need to tell my mum as she gives him such a hard time because of the nurses saying no but I spoke to doc at the time of discussing treatment and he said fine! 

This really is a shit time watching your poor father not enjoying life like he used to. 

x

Bombie
Posted by

Hi Minnie2011 thanks for your reply. 

Hows your mum doing? That’s so nice you have her over for a night bless you. 

x