My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 SCLC in April this year and in July a scan showed it was responding well. After 4 rounds of chemo and 50 sessions of radio we have since been told that the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes in his neck and liver. We saw the Dr about further chemo treatment and she said that we can try Topotecan which is an oral tablet form of chemo to buy us more time. But she said we are talking months. I’m unsure what to do or what the next steps will be? He’s currently taking morphine for pain but isn’t seeming to manage it well and no one has been in touch to help. His chemo is due to start tomorrow but we don’t want him to be uncomfortable. He saw his own GP this week who gave him a stronger morphine but it’s not helping much. any advice would be greatly appreciated and also where to turn to for support for myself and my mam as our whole world has fell apart.
Oh Minnie2011 I’m so so sorry to hear this awful news! I haven’t been on here for a while and wanted to come and check on you and him. I feel devastated for you
I’m so scared for the future of my poor dad. Sending love and healing to you and your family xx
Thank you Bombie
We held his funeral on Friday, I’ve been coping pretty ok until now, there’s nothing to focus on and everything and everyone seems to just have gone back to normal. I’m finding this rather difficult and I feel very angry now. My advice would be to make every day count and say everything you need to be said. I had a lovely conversation with my dad on the morning he passed and I will never forget the smile on his face when we made sure we both knew how much we loved each other.
Thinking of you every day xx
That’s lovely that you had that moment minnie2011 but I am dreading it. I don’t think I will be able to hold myself together! I totally get that you’re angry that people are just carrying on! I’m so scared for what’s coming. I have a friend who’s dad was told he was terminal 6 years ago and part of me thinks “oh this could be us” but then my dad has this cancer that’s so aggressive and you’ve lost your poor father after 7 months since diagnosis so I know it’s fast progressing. I don’t think my mum is coping that well as she keeps talking about us all going on holiday in a couple of years etc and I feel like screaming that dad will probably not be here!! I hate cancer, it’s bullshit and I feel so angry that there’s no cure out there x
just thought I would check in and ask how things are going and how you are ? your absolutely right it is bullshit it’s horrendous and you would think in 2019 something could be done! my mam was the same, the morning of the day dad passed she was on about them moving to a bungalow etc and it’s hard not to shout that’s not gonna happen Cos they don’t want to seem like they are giving up on their husband. It’s Heartbreaking to watch your mams life fall apart when your hurting so much too.
i really hope your keeping as well as u can do and feel free to rant on here any time u need to
Thanks for the message. I’ve just been to my parents for lunch today and my dad was feeling really rough for the first time since starting chemo. Now im scared he will deteriorate! My mum gives him a hard time for having a drink with lunch because the nurses said not to but when I asked doc he said it’s ok and I’ve got a friend who’s had breast cancer and she drunk a lot! He just likes the odd can of beer and some wine on a Sunday but he’s being deprived of such a little thing. Did your dad drink?
I hope you are healing and feeling a little better each day and I hope your poor mum is ok on her own. It’s heartbreaking thinking of them alone suddenly x
Bombie I have just seen your last post about your Poor Dad and having a Tipple with his Lunch. There is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine or a can of beer with Chemo having been done a few days ago. Your Mom is hurting too and she should not deprive him of this little thing. A bit of what you fancy does you good. As long as he isn't falling around drunk in the hospital or at home I say let him!
God Bless You All at this Tough Time.
Yes my dad used to have a couple of cans if he was watching the football, the nurses and doctors said to dad that if he felt like having a drink then to go for it. On his very last go of the chemo he didn’t feel up to any drink at all bless him but by then he was very poorly. when dad was in hospital for the very last time his consultant said we could take some cans in for him if he wanted one though. mam has come to stay with us tonight and get a takeaway, it’s nice having her here so we can make sure she’s ok and gets a good sleep. xxx
Thanks for your reply. I didn’t think there would be any harm but I need to tell my mum as she gives him such a hard time because of the nurses saying no but I spoke to doc at the time of discussing treatment and he said fine!
This really is a shit time watching your poor father not enjoying life like he used to.
Hi Minnie2011 thanks for your reply.
Hows your mum doing? That’s so nice you have her over for a night bless you.
Hi Bombie, I totally know what your'e going through. I am watching my wife go through the same. Its just time left now for her. Not long either.
God Bless and Keep Strong
How awful! How old is she? When was she diagnosed? Sorry to ask.
Think we now both just answer we are doing ok, sometimes you feel like people don’t want to hear that your struggling and that you should be getting on with it. Every day is different sometimes you find something to keep you busy and other days you just want to pull the quilt over your head and ignore the world. But the pain seems to be getting worse the more time goes by
Billythedog I’m really sorry you are experiencing the same it’s one of the very worst things I’ve ever had to go through, my heart goes out to you both.
Hi Bombie. It's okay asking. My wife is 68 yrs old and a shadow was found in January 2019 after the GP had said her lungs were clear , but have some anti biotics. She started coughing up blood so I got her to A&E. The doc there was 50/50 it was Cancer. After 3 biopsies it was confirmed as Small Cell. A 5cm tumor on her left lung. She has had 6 cycles of chemo ( etopiside and Carboplatin) which was working well then 20 sessions of Radiotherapy to her lung and 8 to her head. It was hell for her. She couldn't eat or drink due to inflamation and her oeasophagus became ruptured from vomiting. She then picked up pneumonia in the hospital and she is very ill. She has lost 4 stone in 2 months and the hospice think she only has months left with me.
I will then lose my Wife, Lover and Best friend in one cruel sweep.
God Bless You Bombie and your family. No two patients are the same.
Minnie2011. Thank You for your kind words. I find myself wanting to do the quilt thing most days but I need to care for my wife. Keep strong bab things get slightly easier day by day. Baby Steps are needed. https://youtu.be/V_6qQEyCSv8 this is what I do. Hit the link.
Just thought I would check in see how yous
are and how Xmas went. Thinking of yous always xx
Hi Minnie2011, I am sorry to have to say this but my Beautiful Wonderful Tina passed away on the 18th December. It appeared that the Radiotherapy that she was given ( 20 sessions to the Lung and 8 sessions to the Head) was the worst thing that was done. It exploded the remainder of the Tumor into several pieces and it took hold of her. She lost 4 stone in two months and lost the use of her legs, balance and started to have serious headaches. The Morphine Driver was started on the Tuesday 17th and she never even went a Full 24hours after that.
I have Lost my Wife, Best friend, My Everything so Christmas was out for me completely. We have her Funeral on the 13th January and it's going to be Awful saying a last goodbye to my Baby.
I'm sorry, How are you doing? I hope that you managed a good Christmas and are lookin forward to a better 2020.
Please keep in touch as I am still using this site in the Bereaved Partners and spouse section.
God Bless You Minnie
im so very sorry, we had a good Xmas but new year has hit me a lot harder. I hope to keep in touch too and offer some comfort, it’s not fair we loose the people we love the good ones xx
Minnie, Thank You. Just Kepp Fighting The Fight. Be Strong.
I’m so sad to read this! What a cruel world we live in. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you can say goodbye without too much pain. Heartbroken for you x
Bombie, Thank You very much. We are not having a Funeral, it's going to be a celebration of a Great Life of a Great Lady. My heart was broken the day she was diagnosed. I knew the prognosis, she declined to be in the room.
God Bless & Take Care.
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