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Patient emotions

Posted by

is it common or usual for someone who has been diagnosed with cancer to really push their partner away? I am trying to be supportive in all ways. However, I am being told "go/leave" get your life back! Telling me I don't want wait around cancer wards stressing over results for the next twenty years! 

I know I am not the one suffering directly but seem to be targeted as bearing the brunt! Just want to know if this is common and what to do? My partner is not forthcoming in disclosing how she is feeling!

Posted by

Hi, rather than leaving this for our expert radiographer to answer I thought I could pick it up straight away if you don't mind.

It is not an uncommon emotion, they are boh frightened and love you and don;t want to "drag you down". The feeling somehow they are less of a woman etc. If you look on the main site on breast cancer you can find information under the coping tab that might help you to understand her heelings more.

You could also post in Breast cancer - Discussion Forum where the lovely ladies will be very supportive of you trying to support her and you could also join us over in Carers Only - Discussion Forum who know what is is like on the outside looking in.

Bless you for caring, stick with it.



Ellen M-Macmillan
Posted by

Hi ,

I hope you found support helpful. It’s not uncommon that someone diagnosed with cancer can have all sorts of feelings and emotions as they can often find it difficult to come to terms with the diagnosis and the impact this can have on our lives.

We often get calls to our helpline from family and friends who find it difficult to know what to say and feel like they are “damned if they do and damned if they don’t” when offering support.They often feel no matter what they say it doesn’t help and they often feel stressed about saying the wrong things.

Our macmillan website has this information about how cancer can affect someone’s emotions, you may find it helpful to read.There is also the Macmillan Source where carers and friends going through a similiar experience have put practical tips. Sometimes knowing your not alone can help.

It’s important that you get support too and our in your area link should help you access support locally.

Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch

Best wishes,

Ellen (Macmillan Information Nurse Specialist)