Refusing to know prognosis

Hello, My grandmother in law has stage 4 glioblastoma multiforme. (Her daughter passed away from cancer 11 years ago so her only family is her husband with dementia and myself and her grandson)

i attended her appointment with her and gran refused to know the prognosis and proceeded to leave the room, the doctor told me the prognosis (my gran has 9-14 months) as she thought its imperative that we get my grand affairs in order and that i take power of attorney.

her grandson (my husband) and i are really struggling with this as we are the ONLY people who know that she hasnt got all that long left

and we need advice, do we stick to grans wishes and not tell her about her prognosis, do we try and tell her a small amount or do we tell her the prognosis and prepare her…

please help

  • Hello

    Thanks for getting in touch with us. I’m sorry to hear about your Grandmother in law. I can see that this is a far from ideal situation for her and your family, it must be so difficult having to make that decision. I guess it’s a balancing act of making sure you respect her wishes whilst also looking to get her affairs in order. It’s a difficult one for us to answer. It might be worth trying to see if she will give you power of attorney without being made aware of her prognosis. Ultimately that would be a decision you have to take as a family. We are here to help support you though.

    You’d be welcome to contact us on the Macmillan Support Line to talk things through. We offer emotional support and a listening ear. You can call us on 0808 808 00 00, 8am-8pm, seven days a week, email us, or contact us on our online chat facility here.

    We have a financial guidance team on our support line who can give you guidance and information about power of attorney, and how to perhaps look to get her affairs in order.

    It may also help your Grandmother in law to call us herself if she is feeling up to it. We would look to provide her with emotional support and guidance. Sometimes it can help someone going through a diagnosis to have support outside of family, and that’s why we are here.

    Please do stay in touch with us.

    Take care.

    David, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.