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My mum had a shock cancer diagnosis on Friday. She has abdominal tumours which are pressing on and blocking her gut so she can't eat or even be fed through a tube. She is on pain control and IV fluids and antibiotics while they stabilise her before carrying out a biopsy. She is 72 but prior to this was very fit and healthy. She is very ill and weak and cannot walk without collapsing. I'm afraid she will be too ill for the biopsy to take place.
I have stayed away because of Covid 19 but I'm scared that my mum may be dying. My dad is frightened and I don't want to have this conversation with him, he is visiting each day. They are each other's world.
I haven been working from home since Wednesday, my housemate has been working from home all of last week and neither of us have any symptoms of Covid 19. I am desperate to see my mum and don't know whether I should just go and observe the social distancing guidelines.
Thank you for contacting the Macmillan Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis. It sounds like this all happened so quickly, and I can appreciate that is has come as a shock, especially considering her good health before this.
This is such a difficult time for your family, made so much harder by the Covid 19 situation just now. I can’t imagine how hard it is to not be able to see mum while she is so poorly, and you are right to ask the questions before deciding how to proceed.
In normal circumstances, we would forward your question on to our ‘Ask a nurse’ session for one of our Cancer Information Nurses to answer. Unfortunately, due to the number of questions being asked about Coronavirus, and the increase in demand on our services, we have currently closed our ‘Ask a nurse’ session here on the site.
Miccie, you’d be more than welcome to call our support line to ask our cancer information nurses for more in depth information and guidance around mum’s illness and your family’s current situation. The Macmillan Support Line is currently open Monday – Friday 9am-5pm, on 0808 808 00 00. You can also email our Cancer Information Nursing team by filling in this online form. Please bear in mind that due to the current situation with Coronavirus our phone lines are experiencing higher volumes of calls so it may not always be possible to speak with a nurse straight away. It may also take longer than usual for our nurses to respond to emails. They are doing their best to respond to everyone, but are currently experiencing a higher level of demand on their service.
We’re also very much here to support you all emotionally too, Miccie. This is a frightening and uncertain situation to be in, and it may be that you’d find it helpful to talk to someone outside of your family support network. You can call or write to us, even just to talk through everything that is going on and how you are feeling. We’ll offer a listening ear and any guidance we’re able to to support you through this.
I appreciate that the priority just now will be finding answers as to whether or not you can see mum. However, I wonder when you have a moment, if you’d like to talk a little more about how you are coping with everything you are currently facing?
Take care, Miccie,
Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.
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