Not knowing the stage is an option?

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Hi, 

I just been diagnosed with cervical cancer a few days ago and all my thoughts are currently wrapped around this at  32 so I am pretty worried. They still yet to set the stage and I terrified because the longest axis of my mass is 65mm which I think is pretty huge and I have frequent urination too. Is there somehow an option to not know the stage I'm in and maybe let my fiance to know (we live together)? It's already affecting my mental health and I feel I would be really crushed if it was too bad. At one point I might wanna know so could ask my fiance but I just wonder if it's even an option that NHS would respect? If it is how would that work or radiotherapy etc.? Would they know I wish to have details not to be disclosed?

Thank you,

  • Hi Niki82

    Welcome to our Online Community.  My name is Tricia and I’m one of the Cancer Information Nurse Specialists .

    Sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis of cervical cancer and it is understandable that you are experiencing difficult emotions at this time.  It can be such a shock hearing you have cancer.

    I am glad to hear you have your fiancé for support and you may have some support from other friends or family.

    Whenever anyone is diagnosed, it is important that the medical team do all the tests needed to find out what grade and stage it is prior to making decisions about what the treatment options are.

    Once all the results are back they are discussed in the Multi-disciplinary Team (MDT) where a group of Consultants look at all the results and make a decision about treatment. This would result in an appointment to discuss the full diagnosis, treatment options and plan.

    It’s a good idea to take someone like your fiancé with you to appointments if you can so you have someone else there to help understand information given and to provide some emotional support.

    When the team discuss the treatment options with you, you do need to have certain information so you can  make treatment decisions .

     However, you can say at the start of the consultation that you prefer not to be told the actual stage if that is how you feel at the time. You can also give permission for your fiancé to be given full information if that is what you prefer, and your fiancé agrees having the additional information alone.

    It’s important to remember we are here to support your fiancé as well as yourself so he can contact us as needed.

    It’s about letting the team know how you feel as they should treat you as an individual and anyone with cancer will need support that is tailored to them.

    You are likely to be given a Gynaecology Clinical Nurse Specialist to help support you through diagnosis, treatment and afterwards. Their role is to be your key worker and to provide physical and emotional support, co-ordinate care services and advise on treatment and practical issues.  

    You may be able to contact the nurse specialist via the hospital switchboard prior to your appointment to discuss how you feel about knowing the stage of the cancer.

    Waiting for results  can be a very worrying time. It can be easy to think of the worst scenario but the important thing to remember is you don’t know what your cancer situation is.  It may be possible to try to  ease worry  while you are waiting for your test results.

    You will be feeling all sorts of emotions right now and this is normal with the way a diagnosis of cancer can make you feel . It can be beneficial to talk about your cancer diagnosis as that can help.

    You are welcome to contact any of the various teams on the Macmillan Support Line  if that will be useful.

    Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch at any time.

    Sending best wishes,

     

    Tricia
    Macmillan Cancer Information Nurse Specialist

    You can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or send us an email