Anticipatory grief

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My mother was recently diagnosed with malignant cancer. I cannot seem to hold myself all the time and keep feeling panicky and isolated as the very thought of the inevitable and the worst is coming to life. I feel like I cannot lean on my self in this time and do not want to overwhelm those around me. Are there any virtual support groups I could join and share with others what I am facing. I am scared I will lose my job if I take up the role of primary caretaker for my mother. I have been that for her in the past, but it costed me my mental health and first job. I am concerned about her but I think I am selfish in thinking that caring for her may mean I may lose my job all over again. I am exhausted in many ways thinking about how this will elapse and test me in unimaginable ways. I really love her but I also fear for my future. I am so overwhelmed, please help.

  • Hi  

    Thank you for reaching out to us for Support. I am so sorry to hear about your mum's cancer diagnosis. I hope mum is well supported by her medical team. 

    A cancer diagnosis can have a huge impact on the family. I can only imagine how isolated and panicky you must be feeling right now. 

    Please remember that we are here with a listening ear 7 days a week from 8am - 8pm if you ever need to chat or offload. 

    There are a couple of organisations specifically designed to support Carers who can also put you in touch with support groups. I have popped a couple of links below for you to look at. I do hope they will be helpful. 

    Carers First - online support - Cancer Care Map

    Carers Direct Helpline - Cancer Care Map

    Carers UK - Cancer Care Map

    You also mentioned the worry about your job and possibly losing your job due to your caring responsibilities for your mum. 

    It may be with having a chat with ACAS on  0300 123 1100. They offer free and impartial advice on Employment matters and can explain any rights you may have at work when caring for a cancer patient. 

    https://www.acas.org.uk/contact

    Please take care of yourself and know that you can get back in touch again if needed. 

    Kindest regards,

    Linda
    Cancer Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.