Helping my Wife and Dealing with our young Daughter

Hello AM41d7e3dc and thank you for contacting the online community.

I’m sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis, I appreciate this must be a difficult time. It’s understandable you’re struggling and scared about what the future may hold. I’m glad you’ve reached out.

If you are finding uncertainty hard to live with, try taking control of the things you can do something about. Getting back into a routine will help. Over time, you will be able to do more of your usual activities.

You might decide to make changes to your diet or other areas of your life. You may want to try complementary therapies to help you relax and cope with stress.

You may find it helpful to know that other people have the same kinds of feelings as you. You can visit our Family and friends forum to talk with people who are perhaps in a similar situation and share your experience. Our website can also help you find local support groups.

It can be helpful to focus on what you can control right now. This can help you manage any concerns about what might happen in the future. It can include:

• talking about your feelings
• getting support
• knowing when you need help and where to get it.

Some of these suggestions may not work for you, but there are no right or wrong ways to cope.

Have you told your daughter about your wife’s diagnosis? This is of course a personal decision, but children often know when something serious is affecting the people they are close to. They may also notice changes in how the adults around them are feeling and behaving. It is important to give them the chance to talk about their fears and worries, and to ask questions. Talking about the cancer can help them feel more secure.

Our publication Talking to children and teenagers when an adult has cancer provides support and advice to help you talk to children of any age about cancer. It includes suggestions about how to tell a child someone close to them has cancer, understand their reactions, help them cope, explain cancer treatments and deal with changes to your family life.

You might also find our publication Cancer and relationships helpful as it has information about coping with your feelings when someone you care about has cancer. It is for anyone who is close to someone with cancer, including partners, family members and friends. It also has information about getting support and dealing with relationship changes.

Do you have much support around you, people you can talk to about what’s happening and how you’re feeling? When someone you care about has cancer, it may help to talk about what is happening and how you are feeling. Talking to someone about how you feel can help you cope with your emotions. It is often the first step in helping you feel better. Remember you can also speak to your GP if you feel that your anxiety is affecting your day-to-day life.

How is your wife just now? Has she had any surgery or treatment? We’d be more than happy to talk things through with you. We have a team of cancer specialist nurses here on the support line if you have any clinical questions you’d like to ask about your wife’s diagnosis.

We’re also here for yours and your wife’s emotional support. Cancer can bring up all sorts of feelings and it can be helpful to talk about these to try and process what’s happening.

You can call in on 0808 808 00 00 (7 days a week, 8am – 8pm), web chat or continue to email if you’d prefer, and you can check our website to see what local support there is.

Take care.