Support

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My dad who is 85 and has Prostrate Cancer, although he tells us that he is in remission and that his "pse count" is very low. He cares for my mum who has vascular dementia. My dad has also been admitted to hospital twice since mid may with High Blood Pressure and a drop in blood pressure from a sitting to standing position. We asked for a Social work Assesme t before his discharge from hospital and were refused this, stating that it would be an OH assessment. We explained that he would pass this as he can walk, doesn't need aids etc and it is more physically, emotionally and psychologically that he is struggling to care for my mum. Social work have stated that he doesn't need support as he can walk, cook, get to bathroom etc. His GP removed his name as main carer for my mum and care has been upped to 4 x per day for my mum, but my dad is still left with my mum for long periods of time having to help her to bathroom which requires bending which he has been told not to do, and overnight when my mum doesn't sleep well, and he is alot up a good few times a night for his own bathroom needs due to his prostrate. Is there any advice that you can give us that would help us get the support for my dad that he needs?

Thankyou for reading this enquiry.

  • Hi  

    My name’s Vicky and I’m a Support Advisor here at Macmillan.  I’m so sorry to hear about your parent’s situation, it’s hard enough to care for someone you love who’s going through dementia in any circumstances but to be elderly and with your own health concerns it must be very difficult and the lack of support just feels wrong, such a worry for you too, seeing your dad struggling.

    I would urge you to push to have a carer’s assessment carried out by Adult Social Care, request that someone comes out to assess your dad, perhaps is GP can make an urgent referral to them and if your dad has a Cancer Nurse assigned to him Layla14 you could ask them if there’s anything that they can do to help with this, they may be able to support any application for Social Care in some way.    I don’t know what additional support  Social Care can provide but even if it’s to look at some respite time for your dad, so that he can have a break, there’s some useful information here on the NHS website about respite.

    You could also approach some of the carers organisations such as Carers Trust and Age UK.  Age UK has a helpful information guide for Carers,  Dementia UK also has some great information too.

    Please also let your dad know that we’re here at Macmillan to support him (and you too of course Layala14), as a place you can both contact privately and confidentially to talk through how you’re feeling and access emotional support, we’re here every single day, from 8am to 8pm either by phone on 0808 808 0000 or by chat, so please reach out as much as needed.

     

    Kindest regards,

    Vicky, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.