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I do have a desk with a beautiful view! But cancer, do I really know what it is like? With my own diagnosis almost ten years behind, I am wondering if I am just a middle class army brat with an attitude? As this week I have spoken to a retired doctor whose wife died from liver secondaries and a grandmother of a 24 year old diagnosed with a brain tumor, there is a lot to listen to but not much I can say...
A toast to the people who I won't impress,
They love you, they tell me, I have...
The season is declining, a changing in the light,
The days are drawing colder and yet that is alright,
My time too, now in autumn, because I'm glad to say,
They did the operation upon a summers' day...
So many friends they tell me that growing old is sad,
But swapping a few wrinkles for life can't be that bad?
Okay July is over, bikinis not now wise,
That isn’t from the boob job, it's chocolate on my thighs!
I'm like the well shook rag doll with stuffing hanging...
Can something ever be nothing, once it's inside your head?
Can we turn back where we started, get a new thought there instead?
So intelligent and funny, I'm accustomed to your way,
You are fragile, I'm the mummy, and uncertain what to say?
I can upbeat, that's my job, but this time it is us,
This is real and I must talk to you without making a fuss!
So I can't it kiss better, make you a favourite meal,
A plaster just won't fix this, and Tinkerbell's not real......
I went back to the clinic on Thursday to get results after my op. The clinic was absolutely packed and we didn't get seen for nearly 2 hrs. I had to keep going out for some air it was so hot and I felt like passing out. The first thing my consultant said was "you were right" it was cancer in your left breast!" This is after an MRI and a vacuum biopsy telling me it wasn't likely to be and me having to really stand my ground whilst I felt like the team were trying to persuade me to leave my left breast...
Had my check up with the consultant and it was a weird to be back at the RBH. It brought it home to me there is nothing else to conquer now and it's just me allowing my body to recover.
Popped in to work before hand which I think threw me menally because everyone tells you you look great even though you are feeling dreadful inside. Then you feel like you ought to be feeling better than you are then you're down on yourself.
Got to the ENT outpatients for a 3.45 appointment. Same initial...
So - had scan results back and more good news - the Vem is still working and the tumours have all shrunk a bit further. The lump I found in my right armpit was just one of the chest tumours I have going walkabouts or something... so no new issues. I was slightly relieved UI have to say! So I am now looking more seriously at starting work again - probably from home as I still feel sick a lot of the time and do not fancy the morning drive to work or the early rising!
I have had issues with stomach...
Well it's been nearly a month since I updated this blog and it's been a bit of a whirlwind time but for once not because of cancer or chemo or illness but because of usual stuff like staffing levels and unexplained time off and the usual stuff we deal with in our normal lives. It's been great to be annoyed at work again beause it means normal is returning. We've regained some social life in the past couple of weeks and the rest of the month is socially active too. Now that the worst...
One thing that has come as quite a surprise is how much worse the fatigue has become over the last 4 or 5 days. I found that even taking a shower yesterday I felt exhausted washing my hair and had to stop for a break. I'm also sleeping for much longer over night so I'm not getting going till quite late morning.
I have been managing a Wiltshire Farm Foods meal each day but I've found now that the soft option is better than the purreed as it has a bit more texture to it. I know part of...
