Tom's cancer journey

On Wed I said goodbye

2011-03-25T16:33:54Z

Well on Wednesday afternoon I said goodbye to the love of my life,it was a beautiful day and the sun was shining but inside I was empty. After my first marriage ended I vowed I would never marry again as it had been the worst years of my life and I thought I would never feel safe with another man then along came Tom 18years older than me and life suddenly became worth living we had 21 years together 8 of them as man and wife and I couldn't have been happier until that day 19 months ago when Tom was diagnosed with terminal oesophagus cancer.Now I have to learn to live without him not being able to speak to him or touch him again.People tell me it will get easier in time but at the moment I seriously doubt it but time will tell.Till we meet again Tom I will love you for ever.

Time to say goodye

2011-03-22T21:16:41Z

Well tomorrow is the day I have been dreading since Tom was first diagnosed 20 mths ago,his funeral.I don't know how I am going to cope I miss him so much since he died nearly 2 weeks ago and I feel asif I am living in limbo.I feel so empty and alone and miss so much looking after him which sounds so selfish as I wouldn't wish him back for anything in the world as he suffered so badly in the last few weeks.I went to see him for the final time yesterday and it was awful to see as it wasn;t my gorgeous Tom there I don;t think anyone could have prepared me for this it is worse than I could ever have imagined.

God bless you Tom I will love and miss you for ever.xx

Quality of life is rapidly going.

2011-02-12T17:50:10Z

Tom always said when he was first diagnosed with OC 19 mths ago that he wanted quality and not quantity of life, and up until today never showed any negative emotions.He looked so sad this morning and said he felt like crying with the way he felt and he thought that he was pulling me down as well with all I had to do for him,but like I told him he would do the same for me.He now looks so ill and spends large parts of the day asleep it breaks my heart to watch him suffer,his quality of life is just seeping away,life is so cruel sometimes and I just feel so helpless I just wish I could take some of his pain away.

I thought things were going too good.

2011-01-23T18:15:16Z

Tom has had quite a good few weeks,pain control much better since having the MST tablets and managing to eat fairly well,then this morning he has found a large lump near his kidneys.I wanted to ring the out of hours doctors but he wouldn't let me he wants to wait to see his own doctor tomorrow,I have been beside myself with worry all day imaganing all sorts so I cannot wait for tomorrow to come to make that appointment.

Clinical Trials

2010-12-29T14:11:08Z

My husband Tom ha been asked if he would like to take part in the Cancer Oesophagus GEFITINIB trial, has anyone heard about this? or is anyone taking part in it already we would appreciate any feedback anyone has.He has been given 2 weeks to think about it.

Thanks Marianne

Herceptin for oesophagus cancer

2010-11-09T18:05:54Z

I read an article in the mail today about a man who has been given the drug herceptin( usually prescribed for breast cancer ) to help him live longer after being told his cancer is terminal.Has anybody heard of anybody else trying this drug or any health authorities trialing it.

Stent

2010-10-27T19:27:32Z

I just wondered if anyone who has had an oesophagus stent fitted could tell me how they are getting on with it,if your eating has improved or any problems you may have had.Tom is having one fitted next week so it would be good to hear about other peoples experiences.

This damn cancer.

2010-08-05T13:29:21Z

My husband Tom has inoperable oesophagus cancer and is so desperate to be able to eat ,he has had 6 rounds of chemo which worked brilliantly for a few months and recently finished 2 weeksof radiotheraphy which has made the swollowing better but he can still only eat soups and drink liquids,some days they will stay down other days they come straight back up so he has lost about 2 st in the last few weeks.The doctors just do not be able to control the acid and although he has never moaned from day 1 of diagnosis I can now see that this disease is really starting to get him down,he hates having to sleep a lot of the time and not being able to take the dogs out,as even though he is 71 tomorrow he has always looked and had the energy of someone in their 50's.It is breaking my heart to see him suffering like this and just wish I could cope as well as him.

Radiotheraphy

2010-06-16T18:10:04Z

Tom got the results of his endoscopy today and although the cancer in his lymph nodes and adrenal glands have not got any bigger the tumour in his oesophagus has grown bigger again since the chemo stopped in Jan.His oncology consultant has arranged for him to have 10 days of radiotheraphy and said that at first things will get worse before they get better.He says that 7 out of 10 see noticable improvement in their eating once things have settled down,just wondered if anyone else has had radiotheraphy and how they got on,would love to hear peoples experiences.

I feel so guilty

2010-05-30T17:53:45Z

I am having terrible trouble eating at the moment as I feel so guilty that I can eat and Tom can't. I know I must as I do not want to make myself ill.Tom is having a real struggle at the moment getting any food at all down ,even things like mashed potato with loads of butter and milk will not go down.He has never moaned once since the day he was diagnosed but for the first time today he said he was fed up not being able to eat.It is so so hard watching the person you love deperately trying any food he thinks might go down only to see it come back up even after as little as a mouthful.He had a scan last week to see how the tumour is and we are supposed to see the consultant again on June 23rd but I think I will have to ring the hospital tomorrow as this not eating cannot go on until then,hopefully they will be able to suggest some other treatment to get him eating again.