What part of my body is this?

Chemo Cycle 1 not much fun x

2010-07-20T05:23:00Z

Hi guys, havn't been on here for a while so thought i'd stop being lazy and update. We had the most fantastic holiday in Italy and it was so what we all needed. I felt completly recovered from the surgeries, relaxed and got a lovely healthy looking tan. Most importantly we had so much fun together as a family. If anybody wants an Italian reccomendation let me know. The only problem was that we had to come home.....Boooo!

6 days later was the 1st chemo, i was nervous but yes not nearly as bad as i expected but still not much fun. The worst part was the steroids i could feel my pulse pounding for the 1st 24 hours, felt spaced out and didnt sleep most of the first night. I didnt fancy 3 more sleepless nights so i only took 1 of the steroid tablets. I felt nausea for the 1st 5 days wasnt actually sick but the yellow anti sickness tabs kept my food sitting in my stomach and just felt that it was going to come back up. So swapped to the others that help empty the stomach quicker sorry cant remember the names. Also the yellow ones gave me Niggling headache for 5 days. Food and drink tasted strange and couldnt think of anything i wanted stopped drinking tea for a week and had hot blackcurrent instead and had loadsa baked beans! Had Jelly mouth day 4 but it settled. Just felt gutted felt fab after hols and now it seems a step backwards.

So i had 5 days of feeling rough and tired not too bad i thought....5 days out of 21 I can cope. Felt back to normal until day 10 (except bad acne evil face spots-steroids again)....Then during world cup final my temp went up, down a bit up again, up again OMG couldnt eat anything not my fav chinese. Watched rest of the footy and tried to go to bed i know i know! I laid there not daring to sleep thinking im going against all they have ever told me so i got up and rang hospital. They told me to come in 1.30 am yawn! Had bloods taken, neutropenic so was admitted on IV antibiotics. Tempreture went quickly but wouldnt let me out until thurs as my neutrophils were Very low 0.13 then 0.16 then 0.12 no infection fighters! They relented and let me out because apart from the counts i was well so came home with oral antibiotics and told to return if felt unwell. (St Jame's hosp Leeds top place). The onc told me that i will have bone marrow injections for rest of chemos to prevent blood going as low as it did and hopefully no more hospital stays. The chemo totally wiped my immunity and she said i must be v sensitive.

HAIR started to come out day 12 and every day since in handfulls. Now on day 18 havnt got much left at all. Think this is happening quicker then it should nurse said id notice something before chemo 2.....understatement of the year id be dead not to notice this. There is hair everywhere even in the mash i was making yesterday rrgghh. My scalp was sore as hell. I would of shaved it all off except i havnt got wig yet..ive been twice but cant find 1 i like ive got 2 more ordered so 3rd time lucky i hope im getting desperate now. Got 2 more school runs to do(hair cling on pls). Ive been brave tho no tears shed id accepted it was going to happen.

I was tired day after i came home from hosp so whilst kids at school i went to bed and woke up 25 mins after school finished OMG dashed there with bed head, parked and forgot to put on handbrake(chemo brain) car rolled slightly into another no damage done and was sooo late nobody saw thank god! Ran into school with big apologies!!

So next chemo meant to be friday but cant see my neutrophils will have risen from 0.12 to acceptable in a week but you never know they might and the rollercoaster will start again.. hopefully a smoother ride this time.

Best wishes to you all xxxxxx

The Plan!

2010-06-14T08:40:46Z

Hi Guys, Thought id write an update been feeling almost back to normal since last surgery and been busy getting ready for hols on thursday although im still not ready!!!

Ive been told surgery all done phew! I am glad they did some more though as they did take some DCIS away that was left near to the tumour... i didnt know till the other day that i had this as well as the invasive.

Onto the chemo... On 2nd July i shall start 4 cycles of EC followed by 3 of TAX.... feeling very nervous but with any luck i hope to be one of those that sails through it!! Hoping anyway! That should finish in November then a 3 week break and 4 weeks of radiotherapy which if the plan works out then the last treatment should be christmas eve!!! HO HO HO! Think Santa Going to be tired this year!!

I have an 89% chance of surviving the next 10 years+ which is better odds then England winning the world cup... so im quite reassured by that.

I owe Angela, Sniffsnoop and Debbie Watson a message and im sorry ive been slow in doing this, i shall try before thursday.

Im going for a visit to the chemo unit today and hopefully be all clued up afterwards.

Big hugs to all that need them. xxxx

Fantastic Care!

2010-05-25T09:46:29Z

I knew fantastic care was possible! Yesterday i had some more tissue removed from breast to obtain clear margins and i had it done in one of the trusts other hospitals and the differance was amazing!

I had my 1st op in Dewsbury DH (not good) and yesterday i was in Pontefract GI (excellent).

They could not have done more for me, nothing was too much trouble or treated like an inconveniance and was asked over and over if i was feeling ok.

Its makes all the differance to have good care and gives you a boost when you are treated like a person rather then a number and restores your faith in the NHS. Just wish id had my 1st op here. I shall be sending a letter of appreciation as people are quick to complain but often forget to praise for excellence.

Take care all

Katexx

Results Day!

2010-05-12T10:52:56Z

Well it was Good and bad news!

The wounds healing nicely, had a bit more fluid taken out relief!

Path results- Grade 2 stage 2A invasive ductal with 3/13 lymph nodes positive. Oestrogen receptive so Tamoxifen for 5 years after chemo and radio.

The bad news was the margins were too close so have to have more surgery to take a bit more tissue rrggghhh! As a day case i think so not too bad!

The good news is that because of need for more surgery it delays the chemo so i will definatley be able to go on holiday in 5 weeks as their was some question of canceling cos they wanted to be starting chemo then. Result!!! Yeeh!

The holiday in Italian sunshine is just what we all need before starting the next chapter of chemo!

I Don't Want to moan all the time!

2010-05-08T08:57:08Z

I Didn't want to be writing my blog and be moaning about the NHS all the time but so far they have left me no choice!!

This week i collected a tennis ball full of fluid under my arm (seroma) I tried to grin and bear it for 24 hours but then decided it hurt so rang up the ward that i was treated on, they got in touch with the surgical team that advised me to go in for draining. After dropping the kids off with kind neighbours we got up there half an hour later 4.45pm and waited and waited and waited, over the next 3 and half hours the nurses bleeped the surgeons 7 times with no response. OMG! They contacted site manager to find surgeons, none appeared to be in theatre or on wards. At 8.10pm surgeon rang ward to say they would come sometime after handover no specific time. I said i needed to get home as kids at neighbours and they needed bed (still with fat armpit).

I rang at 11.30 next day and was told surgeon said i could sit and wait at 5pm again sorry what?......are you being serious? I said i wouldnt as didnt see kids previous night and isnt fair on them or kind neighbours. So the alternative was to try breast nurses at a clinic, left 2 messages no call back (they usually are very good). Pain by late afternoon was getting bad so arranged for my partner to stay with kids and my step dad took me to A&E where we waited 2 1/ 2 hours and finally to much relief a surgeon drained 175mls out (nearly 2 full drains worth) home for 9.30pm kids asleep. Although i saw 2 of them in night sleep walking it has an impact on them.

It really does take the piss, I find the hospital well geered up for the emotional side of cancer breast nurses etc and im not that emotional about it.... but i would actually prefer some decent physical care when i need it! The hospital so overstrected and understaffed but when i look at the vacancies for nurses drs advertised there are barely any so some big fat cat pen pushing directors are quite happy to let nurses run themselves ragged for 12 hours a time but wont spend money recruiting more to improve care. Are they saving money for the compensation claim that will be necessary when a patient gets into serious trouble because of lack of care?

PAH! RRRGGGHHH! Rant over Thank you! xxxx

The Op

2010-04-30T09:03:27Z

Hi im starting this blog with the Op, when i get round to it ill fill in the diagnoses before it. On Monday i had lumpectomy with full lymph node clearance for breast cancer. The operation went fine. The nightmare then started i went back onto a womans health ward with only 10 beds open in a busy hospital. I spent all night throwing up from morphine then some jumped up registrar pops up at the bottom of my bed 8 in the morning asking if he could discharge me? " oh yes please you prick, yes i do know you have people lined up for bed, but i have been sick all night, hav'nt weeed since op and not eaten either and ive got a drain sewn into my armpit.!"

Most of nurses lovely but so busy with shipping people in and out that literally no time to care. I had to ask for painkillers as they had assumed id had some! Near lunch i had to ask for help with washing dressing as was still in undone hosp gown.

Arranged to go home next day after jumped up registrar "kindly" gave me 24 more hours! Moved into my mums for next 3 days as couldnt face going home to 3 kids. Wasnt given any painkillers on discharge and in 36 hours since op nobody once looked at the wounds dressings. Better now for being at my mums but i just wonder what would have happened had i been kicked home to my 3 noisy, energetic children for some people it wouldnt have been possible to go to mums.

All in all wish id gone for the op at nearest vets. Should i have to go for more surgery i will probably change hospitals as it was really upsetting and im usually last one to complain and quite hard to upset.

Drain should be coming out today ( day 5) but its still draining 75mls instead of 50mls so i dont know. xxx