vinm's blog

RT starts tomorrow

2009-04-27T12:58:14Z

Well, the CT prep went well and Sal didn't seem to traumatised by it. Of course, having her mother there probably helped with that - sometimes those lifetime 'roles' we have had as parent and child that we never seem to outgrow help us through the bad times because the lover and support in them is so tangible. The RT starts properly tomorrow (it says 'calc and input' on her appointment sheet, not sure what that is so if anyone can enlighten me I'd be grateful) and lasts initially for the next two weeks. We both have an idea of what to expect having read the information here and elsewhere - but. of course you can't know exactly until you're living it. Any general advice on helping Sal through this would be hugely appreciated. We made the best of our weekend because we don't know how the weekends of the near future are going to pan out - and the weather smiled on us in this. We got several of our 'couples' friends over and while Sal and the female contingent soaked up the rays in the garden and chatted while I and the male contingent got busy renovating our 'horrid' kitchen that has been the bane of her life for quite some time. I should hang my head in shame for not tackling it years ago - but it was one of those 'I'll get round to it' jobs I never got round to (I'm sure the wives/female partners are all to familiar with this syndrome!). All in all it was a lovely weekend, Sal smiled more during it than probably the last few weeks put together - and every time she did it was like the sun came out in my heart. Lastly, for all those who read and commented on my earlier posts I've left replies. Please don't mistake my tardiness in doing so as lack of appreciation - your thoughts and kinds words have made a massive difference and and I thank you all for taking the time to show your support. Your advice, your warmth and the way you've shared your experiences have been an inspiration and I hope to be able to offer the same in return to this community. Thank you!

Sometimes we overlook the most obvious things...

2009-04-23T12:59:40Z

Today is Sal's CT prep day ahead of radiotherapy starting next week. I had been due to go with her as I have all her other appointments but instead I'm at the office - but with good reason. I think I've been guilty of being more than a little self-absorbed, of not seeing past her, myself and my kids and in doing so lost sight of how many people this has all affected. When I got home from work last night and asked her about timings and travel plans for today I sensed there was something she wasn't saying - until she mentioned that she'd been speaking to her mum. It was at this point the penny dropped and I realised that her mum had wanted to go with her today but I obviously had my mind so set on how I wanted to do things that I'd overlooked that possibility. I've got so caught up in being in 'control' of the situation, of touching all the bases, that I've neglected that other people in her life need to offer some more tangible support than just words. Her appointment is in an hour or so - and I'm still a little sad that I won't be there - but that's tempered by the fact that I think I've learnt something important here - and hopefully I'll be a little more considerate of others' needs in future. On the upside of coming into work when I wasn't expecting to be I had a productive meeting with my (very supportive) bosses and we're looking at ways that I can do more work from home so that I can be there when I need to be. I think I'm going to count this day as a 'good one' - some lessons learnt, some progress made. Lastly, I want to thank all those who responded to my first post yesterday - I fully intend to thank each individually, but I'm writing this in my lunch hour and that's pretty much over now. To any reading this now, stay safe and my sincere wishes are that the day gives you reason to smile

Into The Unknown

2009-04-22T13:08:35Z

Not sure what I'm expecting to post here. Am still at the early stages, i.e. four or five weeks, after Sal's (my partner) diagnosis and still struggling to take it all in (the background to where we find ourselves today is in my profile). I guess I'm hoping to find some avenue of expression that helps me to continue presenting a brave front and keeping things positive and stable for my kids, my partner's family and close friends - all the people that have been affected by the last couple of weeks, maybe gain some insight into how I can do things better or get advice from reading and talking to others who have so much more experience than me. Anyway, I'll post more when I can put my thoughts a little more coherently. Tomorrow is the CT prep before Sal starts her radiotherapy treatment next week, and I'm going with her so perhaps I'll post after that.