Vickiba's blog

Weight off my mind

2009-08-26T17:59:52Z

Hi there Well today I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This may sound negative to some of you but to me it was something I had to do as it has been on my mind for the past 3 months. I have arranged and paid for my funeral today, in fact I have just arranged a celebration! I have much to celebrate, I have the most wonderful husband, an almost perfect son (I don't think any of us are perfect) and fabulous grandchildren. I also have the most fantastic friends that anyone could want. I know they would have done everything I asked but at least now I can rest easy knowing that it is one less thing for them to worry about and everything will be exactly as I want it to be. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. The guy came to my home and it turned out he was a friend of my sons from school days so we had a good chat about everything. He was very supportive and said that lots of people do this kind of thing, even people who are not ill. He came up with some good suggestions and mentioned some things I had not thought about. We even had a laugh at some things. Sorry if this sounds miserable to you but as I said, it was something I really wanted to get sorted and I feel much better for doing it. What else today? Not much really. My lovely husband Gaz had to go to hospital to get his toe x-rayed, they are not sure if he has arthritis or GOUT. I laughed so much, told him if its gout its caused by too much good living and that he will have to go on a diet of fish and salad, his 2 pet hates. My friend also rang today and she is going to pick me up tomorrow and take me to her house for Chinese and Wine, can't wait - Oh and my hubby bought me the new Neil Diamond CD so I am sitting listening to my favourite artist whilst doing this blog. Looking forward to the Bank Holiday Weekend and hoping it doesn't rain so that we can get out a bit. It's pouring down here at the moment, never seems to do much else lately. Well I think thats about it for today, but will keep on blogging. It helps me to put all this down even if no-one reads it. Love to all, keep safe Vicky

Retirement

2009-08-25T16:26:28Z

Hi Everyone 2nd blog, must be getting good at this! Feeling good today, had a good nights sleep last night, only woke up once for about an hour so made some horlicks and went back to bed. Slept till 7 am. I had an appointment today with Occupational Health at work and have decided to take early retirment on ill health grounds and access my pension. This means that I will be able to do some of the things that I have been promising myself and my family for years. Was a bit upset at first because I loved my job and the people I worked with but we will stay in touch and still go for lunch once a week. Hey, I can be one of those Ladies Who Lunch now, how good is that???? Pity the chemo puts me off eating very much but you can't have everything in this life can you? Talking of food, I think I could just eat a pork pie so will sign off and go and get one from the fridge. Love Vicky

First Blog - Its Back

2009-08-24T16:04:45Z

Hello Everyone This is the first time I have 'blogged' anywhere so bear with me if I seem not to know what I am doing cos I DONT! I was originally diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer with Metastases in November last year and underwent both radio and chemotherapy (Gem/Carbo). The tumours shrank and I was doing great. Started with some back pain about 6 weeks ago but held off going to the docs until my follow up appointment (don't ask me why, I don't know). Well, had another CT scan and a bone scan and yes, the little tyke is back and growing faster than before. There is now also, a visible 'lump' on my back. Went to see the oncologist at the Christie Hospital again this morning and although they cannot offer me any more radiotherapy, I am about to start a second course of chemo on Monday 7th September. Suits me better because my father in law is 80 next Sunday and we have some things planned for over the bank holiday and I do not want to feel off colour for his celebrations. The treatment they have offered is called Docetaxel (Taxotere) which is new to me so I have no idea of my reaction. The Gem/Carbo affected by bone marrow quite badly and I ended up having blood and platelet transfusions every 3 weeks. I have been told that this stuff is more toxic so I may have more severe but different side effects and I will definately lose my hair this time (well at least I won't suffer from nits). Apparently I have to take steroids for 3 days whilst having this treatment so I will probably be climbing walls and blogging at all hours of the day and night to keep myself occupied. I am not looking forward to this treatment at all and if anyone out there has had it and can let me know how they coped then I would appreciate it. I am just going to enjoy the next 2 weeks fully and get out and about as much as I can while I feel up to it. I have no intention of losing my sense of humour, it's what keeps me going although some people think I am a little strange making jokes about mouth ulcers and bowel habits but I believe a good laugh is the best medicine some times. Well, I hope this has not depressed any of you too much, keep your chins up, smile and count your blessings, I have many - wonderful husband, brilliant family and friends, nice home and I can finally be off work without feeling guilty. Thanks for listening Vicky