Vee's views

Dad - 05.12.42 - .-05.10.10

2010-10-08T23:06:59Z

I lost my darling Dad early Tuesday morning and am utterly heart broken.

He went for RT and the Marsden, anhour later was being rushed to St Georges, luckily we were able to get there and have have eye contact and he squeezed my hand, I told him I loved him. He quickly became unconcious, had a scan and he'd had a catastrphic stroke with major bleeds from the tumours.

He fought for 12 hours, through some things that will haunt me forever, and then the breathing calmed and he looked more comfortable.. At 1am exactly, he breathed his last, surrounded by his family holding his hands..

A part of me died that night with him.

24.09.10 - Absolutely gutted

2010-09-24T17:33:01Z

So, yesterday afternoon Dad was told that the cancer has spread to his lungs, chest, edge of the heart and liver and he will not survive.

He's going to have RT next week and chemo in 3 weeks to try and ease it and give him a bit longer.

It feels very surreal writing this

14th Sept 10

2010-09-14T01:01:24Z

Ok so it's now been 10 days since we found out about Dad's brain mets and done what seems a lifetime of waiting although I know that that is only a drop in the ocean.

Haven't got much further forward altho Dad does have a really nice Mac nurse and we know that he is going to have a weeks RT to try and shrink the tumours.

CT scan was put back by a week so is now on Friday so we will find out soon I hope the full extent of the cancer.

After saying he has had no obvious symptoms apart from the mini stroke which is how they found all this out in the first place, it is becoming clearer that he does have symptoms which is quite heartbreaking as he doesn't see them and it means that it could be affecting him a lot quicker than we thought.

Every little thing is reminding me of him and we are doing our best to make sure that he has everything he wants and needs but the shock hasn't disapated.

Just feeling really tearful right now but I know I can't let that show.