Thomas27https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/thomas27/atomTelligent Community (Build: 12.1.2.21912)2011-06-17T23:12:48ZBye Dadhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/thomas27/posts/bye-dad2011-07-29T15:12:11Z2011-07-29T15:12:11Z<p>I haven't been on for a few weeks because my dad died on 4th July.</p>
<p>5 weeks ago tonight my mum was called in by the doctor to say that my dad had fluid on his lungs and around his heart and that he wasn't likely to last the weekend. Luckily he got through the weekend and we managed to get him moved to Ty Olwen Hospice on the Tuesday. He was there nearly a week. I can't say enough about the amazing staff at the Hospice. They made my dad's last few days really comfortable and made my mum and I so welcome. My dad was lucky enough to have a room of his own and my mum and I didn't leave his side until he died at 5.05pm on Monday 4th July.</p>
<p>The world doesn't feel real right now and I don't think I have ever felt such pain in my life.</p>
<p>I can't believe that every step I take from now on is going to be without him. </p>
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<p> </p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=441499&AppID=31945&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermemberTrying to be strong...https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/thomas27/posts/trying-to-be-strong2011-06-17T22:12:48Z2011-06-17T22:12:48Z<p>I've just completed my first full week of work after my dad's diagnosis and feeling really shattered. I'm so lost as to what I should be feeling right now. I want to be with my dad all of the time but know that this just isn't possible as I need to keep a cetain degree of "normality" in my life.</p>
<p>I can't believe how quickly things can change. This time last year we were celebrating my dad getting the all clear after he had his bladder removed. He was so amazing after the bladder removal and has just accepted his bag. We had so many discussions about how the removal of his bladder was nothing if it got rid of the cancer and after the op he kept telling people that he was one of the "lucky ones".</p>
<p>He's now stuck in a hospital bed with secondary bone cancer and the doctor told us yesterday that they can't guarantee that he will be able to use his legs again. He's moving his legs well in the bed but there is a weakness in his spine from the cancer. He's undergoing radiotherapy for the pain and chemo. <em> </em>I am still amazed by his attitude. He keeps telling us that he's taking "one day at a time" and although he gets a bit grumpy he just accepts that this is the situation and he has to deal with what's in front of him.</p>
<p>I love him so much and watching him suffer breaks my heart but I am so proud of him too. I know he's going to get days when he's angry and frustrated and I just really hope I have the strength to support him in the way he has always supported me.</p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=432181&AppID=31945&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermember