I can’t deny I was quite anxious yesterday morning, it was results day and thankfully a mid morning appointment.
We were given such good news…..all the cancer which my surgeon removed was inactive . I didn’t expect to become emotional….but I did happy tears for a change.
I have to wait for an appointment with the oncologist now which she said may be another 2 months, that shocked me….
The plan is….radiotherapy (I don’t know yet how many sessions)….carry on with the Trastuzumab and Pertuzumab every 3 weeks for the year (I’ve had 4 of each)…..a bisphosphonate, probably Zometa……and back onto the Letrozole daily.
She is also arranging a bone density scan so we have a baseline result.
It was explained that if I have any concerns or notice any worrying symptoms I just need to contact the breast care nurses at any time, I’m aware of the unusual places that Lobular BC can metastasise too so I’ll stay on my guard.
My wounds are healing really well and she was pleased with them, the fluid in 3 areas should be absorbed by my body soon, my right side is not as comfortable as my left but I’m doing my exercise’s regularly.
Im still struggling to come to terms with losing my boobs, I feel uncomfortable if I don’t wear anything but also feel uncomfortable if I wear a bra with a softie or my knitted knockers, I’m sure I’ll get there in time.
I’m considering approaching my line manager and occy health to see about returning to work next month on a phased return and maybe not patient facing just yet. I’m not sure whether to go sick again when I start my radiotherapy because it’s a 2 hour round trip and with the treatment also causing fatigue I may not manage that and half a days work……I know I could be ok, it’s just the not knowing.
My BCN has explained that because I work in oncology I may struggle doing my clinical work because it involves cancer patients, I’d like to think I’ll be ok but I’m not going to know until I do it, she’s suggested doing admin work.
She has also explained that it’s at this point that many patients struggle, reality hits them, because we become so focused on getting through the treatment the actual diagnosis doesn’t really sink in until this point when they have time to reflect…..and do you know what, I get that, yes we are absolutely over the moon with the latest update….suddenly it’s like…oh 6 months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer, how did that happen? How did I get through the chemo, how did I cope with the diagnosis? It’s a strange feeling.
I consider myself to be strong and resilient but it’s definitely a time to reflect.
wishing you all lots of love and sending positive vibes to you all