1st Chemo day

Here I am on my first chemo day, well not strictly true as chemo is tomorrow so first targeted therapy day.

I had another really bad night, sleeping from 10.30 until 12.00 I then saw every hour, I tried reading my kindle until tears were streaming down my face because I was yawning so much but no that didn’t work. The last time I looked at the clock it was 5am (gym time!), no, not today.

actually when I left the gym yesterday morning I cried, I actually cried, never in a million years did I think I would cry because I couldn’t go the the gym….I guess I am a gym bunny. The gym have kindly frozen my membership until July because I pay annually, I’m hoping to be able to go back for a little while in between chemo and surgery but time will tell.

anyway after 5am I woke at 6, I actually slept for an hour Joy but I had the most strangest of dreams…..ok, so, Dirty Den (from EastEnders) was chasing me and a reindeer and a sheep, I was on a small type of sleigh and he was shooting at us…..he shot the reindeer!!! but I towed it to a hiding place and the sheep and myself hid with the dead reindeer!!! Oh my days, how funny.

my chemo day bag is packed, boiled sweets, kindle, IPad, lip balm, tissue’s, gum and I ma pop my ear buds in too. Just for today I have to stay for 2 hours after to be monitored.

I’ve washed the kitchen floor and I’m now going to hover through, clean the bathroom and go see mum before my 12.30 appointment.

I bought some loungewear for “bad” days because although I absolutely love my winter onesies I didn’t want to feel like I was living in them so I figured nice soft, snuggly, comfortable loungewear may help psychologically.

Anonymous
  • Thank you for journaling your experiences. I haven’t started yet, but am stressing big style. Reading your journey is really helping. Like you, being on the ‘other side’ in clinic has been an interesting but supportive experience. 

  • I’m glad it’s of some use to someone, I find it really helps me and I try to be honest even if it’s not nice, do you know which chemo your having? It’s surreal being on the “other side” isn’t it but I agree my colleagues and friends have been 100% supportive and it’s was one less “scary, unknown” thing to face.

    Sending you lots of hugs