Terri

Telgirls dance with cance.....32

2010-02-21T08:05:12Z

Hi All,

Long time no blog, have found the chemo regime really hard to handle, have never visited the doctors/hospital as much before in my life, sick of blood tests to check my blood count and viens are finally running into hiding as soon as a needle appears.

The first treatment went ok and had a good 5-6 days of wondering what it was all about as felt fine apart from a bit spacey. Second treatement and again a few days of feeling ok then feeling like pooh which resulted in trips to the doctors then the hosptial to check the bloods.

Third treatment last monday and felt fough within a few hours but hay hum ward said it was cumlative effect, then by wednesday knew I was coming down with something but let it go till friday when I gave in and called out the doctor who told me I was carrying a chest infection and needed antibiotics and if it was no better by the following day then to go straight to hosptial. I am pleased to say that although still feeling like pooh feel a little better and now just suffering from the fatigue of the chemo (you know the hgoover for a short time then sit for 10 mins) but the positive to this is I am now half way through this and have only 3 more chemos to go so chin up and lets see what today brings.

Hope all out there are having a good day.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....31

2010-01-24T16:16:54Z

Well here I am trying to gear up to round two of the chemo cycle.

I took the bull by the horns on Friday and had my head shaved, I think the hairdresser bless her was more upset than me, in a strange way it was comforting to know that that is it it has gone and no more hair trails to follow around the house.

Had a huge bust up with my oldest daughter yesterday which resulted in me asking her to go and stay with her mate for a few days as at the moment she seems to be more of a hinderance than a help, hubby now saying she cannot come back...just what I dont need at the moment so many tears have been shed this weekend, mind you no one said that being a parent was easy.

Hopefully I will tolerate this second round of chemo a little batter than the first, fingers and toes crossed.

take care Love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....30

2010-01-21T01:47:03Z

Well as you can all see sleep seems to be evading me tonite, feel a lot better that I have been the past week so thats a big bonus, hair falling away at a great rate of speed so it will be off to the hairdressers tomorrow and have the lot shaved off, its been like owing a shaggy dog...hairs everywhere.

Think I can do this now, just need to get back to full strength ready for the next round of chemo on Monday but at least I know what to expect this time.

Think Ill go any do that bit of ironing thats staring at me lol

Hope you are all doing well out there

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....29

2010-01-19T12:46:13Z

I actually though I had got away with it. For the first 8 days after having my first cycle of chemo I was sailing through it and then it happened...........I hit the wall full in the face and went down like the preverbial bag.

This resulted in having to call the doctor out on Tuesday last week and 3 insuccessful attempts by him to take blood using the same needle each time, then deciding to give a broad spectrum anti biotic as temperature was fluctuating and possible underlying infection, then hospital on Wed due to temp over 38 degrees and 4 and a half hours spent there (I have to say they were brillliant) then feeling lousy like I have never felt before made me realise I had not got away with it. Hair started to fall out yesterday and now hurts like it does when we girles wear our hair up too long, but at least I dont feel as rough which is just as well as my next cycle is due next Monday.

Hope you are all ok out there.

take care love Terri xxx

ps. does cold feet and hands come in partership with chemo

Telgirls dance with cance.....28

2010-01-09T14:59:07Z

Well after my first session of chemo on Monday the week has been a bit up and down, not too sure how I am supposed to be feeling still havent read the whole book of rules and regulations that goes with this.

First few days felt fine, a bit spacey but other than that fine, kept waiting for it to hit me but nothing seemed to be happening. Then major disaster yesterday....my wonderful hubby bought me a new wedding ring for christmas but unfortunately it was a tad too small so have kept it safe to have to resized and then on the finger, well yesterday as it was cold my fingers seemed to be a lot thinner...you know where this is going, so I pushed and pushed and eventually got the ring on then blind panic qas my finger started to swell and go a funny colour. Many tears and sorryes to hubby who is just standing with that look on his face, then a speedy trip to the local jewellers to have said ring cut off accompanied by more tears. The jeweller was lovely saying not to worry and come back in a week or so when my finger had returned to normal size and he will sort everything for me. What on earth was I thinking of.

So today have felt a bit odd, my head feels too heavy for my neck and have a slight sniffle but other than that things not too bad and my finger has now returned to its normal condition.

Hope everyone is taking care of themselves in this great freeze we are having.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....27

2010-01-05T15:32:45Z

Managed to get a good nites sleep so that wa a bonus.

Woke today feeling strange, thats the only way I can describe it, I dont feel ill or off colour just a bit weird, its like I know something is happening just cant pin point any one thing in particular. My anti sickness drugs seem to be doing the trick (touch wood) so all in all this is not too bad and as everyone seems to react differentkly I dont know if this is the lull before the storm or if this is not going to be as bdd as I imagined it could be. I managed to get the boy to nursery and do a quick sprint round Sainsburys for tea and then tackled the xmas deccies which now makes the house looks so bare and I just know my little one is going to kick off when he gets home that the pretty lights are all gone. Even managed to get all the washing done too so am feeling quite chuffed with myself. Hope you are all having a good day too.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....26

2010-01-04T19:21:59Z

Hi I hope everyone has had the best christmas and new year they could possibly have.

Well today was mmy first session of chemo, appointment was for 11 and arrived in good time but very very nervous, the doctor then realsied that they needed an upto date blood result so this meant blood test and then a long wait to see if everything was ok. Finally got the results back and everything was fit to go, now the nerves really kicked in, they called me in about 3.30 and finally the process began about 4, and I have to admit it was not as gruesome as I had managed to make it in my head. Left feeling a bit heady and another session booked for 25th Jan.

Hubby cooked spag bol and it was lovely but by now I was starting to feel tired so have retired upstairs to the laptop to fill in this blog accompanied by my antisickie tablets just in case, it seems to ge going ok at the moment I so wish I will be blogging the same in a few days.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....25

2009-12-22T09:17:27Z

Well follow up appointment with oncologist to see how the infection was clearing up yesterday, Appointment was for 9.30 so mum picked me up in good time due to the snow and off we went. Had to wait for a long time and then the nurse called my name and off I went, she then proceeded to weigh me which did confuse me a little and the asked about taking blood. Why I asked and she explained that it was the normal procedure when you have treatment. I explained that I was only here to find out if I needed another course of antibiotics and she explained that I was starting treatment. Stalemate was reached and after a while of nice arguing she conceded that maybe I was right but they had all the stuff needed to start (Iassumed by this they meant the chemo).

Eventually got to see the oncologist and his opening line is "so today we start treatment".....had I just stepped into the twilight zone. So again I explained that I was only here to find out if the infection was clearing up, "what infection" he asked, "the one you gave me antibiotics for last week" I replied and suddenly he remembered......So quick check of my scar and all is going well, "it all looks good so treatment can start on 4th Oct" he says, nice of him to remember my birthday but when I pointed out it might be a bit too far away he just laughed and said I was playing with him. Confusion eventually cleared up and chemo due to start 4th Jan...has this little episode instilled me with confidence...eh no.

Hope everyone has a fantastic christmas and New Year

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....24

2009-12-16T17:21:04Z

Had a crap night, felt lousy and quite a lot of pain but refused to take any pain killers because in my head that would mean I am going backwards and thats not allowed.

Woke up feeling just as rough so just bumbled about all morning then took son to nursery (he had to go as it was the second performance of their christmas production which I was due to attend) then back and had a lie down to see if that helped. Time was ticking away and fast running to the time I would need to leave to get to the nursery on time. I seriously considered not going but then gave myself a perverbial kick up the rear and reaslised that this was not about me, it was my sons first christmas play and I had to be there, so deep breaths and out into the cold and off to nursery I trotted.

The christmas play turned out to be a performance of Snow White and the 7 Dwarves (am I missing something here), where was the manger, donkeys, wise men........The performance was brilliant with the wicked queens husband refusing to get up and say his lines and throwing his crown on the floor and then all the kids aged 3-4 sang crimbo songs and my eyes filled and throat tightened and I was so glad that I had forced myself to go this is what its all about, wouldnt have missed it for the world.

Back home now and after a soak in the tub still feel rough but not as, so hopefully antibiotics are kicking in and tomorrow will be a much better day.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....23

2009-12-15T15:06:38Z

Today was my pre chemo visit and it wasnt as bad as I had thought it was going to be.

The staff were all lovely and the nurse who talked me through the procedure and side effects was brilliant. I mentioned that the oncologist had said that the chemo could start after christmas and she said she would have a look and see what she could do. I mentioned that the site of my operation was a bit sore and weepy and she managed to get the oncologist to have a look and he confirmed that there was a slight infection there and put me on antibiotics for a week and asked me to go back next monday for him to check if all was healing ok. This then crought up the subject of starting chemo and he explained that until the infection was gone they could not start the treatment so have now been given the date of 4th Jan to begin treatment so at the moment I am a very happy if slightly sore bunny and can look forward to a fab chrimbo and then hit the trenches fully charged in the new year.

Hope everyone out there is ok and enjoying the build up to xmas.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....22

2009-12-08T16:40:54Z

After such brill news yesterday managed to drag myself into work today and stay until nearly 4 so major achivement.

Still on a high from yesterday then my mobile has just rung, the nurse from the oncology ward to give me two dates, next Tuesday for my pre chemo visit and then 1st treatment on 21st December, went a bit quiet and she asked if I was ok and when I said the oncologist had said treatment would start after xmas she said she had had the referral and my first treatment is in two weeks time, shell shocked to say the least, can I ask for a delay till after xmas or not

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....21

2009-12-07T20:17:09Z

Well I havent blogged for a while because have felt a bit rough but have been checking out the blogs on here. So glad that Skipper is on the mend and that Andrew is back with us.

Today was my first appointment with the oncologist and the results of the bone and ct scan. To say I was nervous would be a great under exageration, sitting on the ward waiting I was verging on a full blown panic attack and hubby could see this so just kept up constant distraction remedy and it worked.

Finally name is callled and in we walked, he then proceeded to ask me if the surgeon had explained everything about the findings from my op. Yes we told him we had been fully briefed. He then started talking about treatment when I could stand it no longer and interupted (which he had said I could do at any time) and I asked if he had the results of my scans, which he had and would I like to know the outcome.......er yea. Both scans have come back clear, there is no sign that the cancer has spread anywhere else. Merry Christmas to me, the best present that I could have been given. He told me I would be getting 6 cycles of chemo 3 of Fec100 and 3 of Tam then radiotherapy and tablets after that. I could have kissed him especially when he kept saying you are a young woman, he is now top of my xmas card list. the news was just getting better and better and there is a very good chance that the hemo will not start until after xmas so looking totally forward now to a chemo free xmas the start it all in the new year. I am still buzzing with all of this and think I may just get a fab nights sleep tonight.

Hope everyone out there is having as good a day as I am. Thank you to you all for your never fading support, You guys all rock.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance.....20

2009-12-01T14:15:19Z

Well it has been a busy few days, managed to get through my bone scan last week without total meltdown and tried to put off the thought of the impending ct scan all weekend. Like everywhere else it seems the weather was lousy and was a definite reason for staying cosy indoors which had the advantage of making sure that all of the washing and ironing got done.

Felt a bit off colour yesterday (not too suprising seeing as the whole family have been feeling rough for a few days) so I got off quite lightly only feeling a bit off colour. Woke this morning desperate for a coffee, typical as the scan states no eating or drinking at least 4 hours before. I am not the best person to be around before I have had my caffiene fix so managed to growl through the school run and even keep my temper when some waster tried to cut me up. Got to the hospital 30 mins early they are in the process of building a new car park and parking is a nightmare (just to add to my good mood) and spent the next 15 mins trying to find a parking space, eventually managing to wang it in to a small spot (I was losing the will to live by now).

Ticket displayed and off to radiology, then informed to strip down to underwear and put on gowns and walk across the corridor into another department. This is where I started to feel nervous as I had decided to do this on my own and stop being a big wuss. Name called and into the room I go and there on a table is all the stuff needed to stick me with needles. It was then explained that they were going to give me a dye.........news to me I thought it was just a straight forward lie on bed have photo taken then off for a long awaited coffee. I think they could tell that I was nervous by this point as they kept gently rubbing my arm and telling me it will all be ok, so dye in and what a strange feeling, weird taste in the mouth and then a hot flushy sensation that makes you feel that you have just wet yourself (all perfectly normal they say afterwards) then a few instructions to breath deep and hold then it was all over.

Now I am impressed with myself for the following reasons (1) its my first cancer related trip unescorted and (2) I had already decided that I was not going to look at the people in the room incase I saw them looking thus throwing me into further turmoil of "what can they see" and this I managed to do even though the way the table was positioned I had a clear view right into the room and could have observed their every move. I am sick of worrying abiut this all now and have come to the realisation that the results from these two scans will be the same wether I worry or not so for my own sanity I will try not to even think about any of this until Monday when I have the long awaitied meet with the Oncologist so for now I am going to kick back and finish wrapping those last few pressies and might even contemplate getting the tree down this weekend to keep myself busy.

Hope everyone is ok and keep strong

take care love Terri xxx

ps. that first coffee of the day was divine

Telgirls dance with cance.....19

2009-11-24T14:28:24Z

Well managed to get the tea sorted and quite nice it wa too, but by this time was starting to feel quite crappy so headed off to bed, didnt even bother with the laptop just lay watchin TV then fell asleep and managed to sleep right through until 8 this morning....result.

Off to the hospital for my radioactive injection and then mum took me over to morrisons for a bit of shopping and some lunch before I had to have the scan.

Into the scan room and lying on the thinnest bed I have ver seen, so thin they put this harness thing around your arms to hold them in place because there is no bed to lay them on. Back on paranoia street, everytime the woman moved was wondering if she had seen something but as she is positioned outside my line of vision just had to ly there and tell myself to stop being so stupid.

Scan over and she lefts me loose, I ask the inevitable question and get the prescribed answer, "I cannot say what the scan is as the doctor has to see it"...then she follows this up by asking me if I know when I am seeing the oncologist and when I say I have nor had a date she suggests I give them a ring to find out when I am due to see him....whoosh and straight back to panic mode why would she say that...she can obviously see the panic and tells me that she is the most impatient person in the world and it wont hurt to try and hurry thiings along and let them know that I have had this scan and am due a ct scan next next...dont they already know this as they are the ones that ordered them. So got outside and rang the mac nurse and relayed my conversation and she said she will ring the oncologist secretary and try and find out when the appointment is. I know it doesnt matter if they find anything on these scans because treastment will still go ahead just maybe it will need a tweek here and there but this not knowing and jumping to all the bad things that coud show is just the pits.

Anyway I have ranted on for far too long now so will go and try and chill out.

take care love Terri xxx

Telgirls dance with cance...18

2009-11-23T16:31:33Z

Not a great nights sleep but then again there was no wine...cant turn into an alcoholic as well now can I.

Woke with a banging head (maybe I should have had the wine afterall) and no energy, this was not good as I was planning on going to work today. So 2 cups of coffee later and I am feeling half way human. Rang the mac nurse about my suprise appointment and she explained it was routine but that she did not know about it but when she checked she also warned me that I would be getting another appointment for a ct scan (again all routine) and that both of these had been ordered by the oncologist prior to my appointment with the consultant last Thursday, so panic over for the moment.

Dropped my son off at nursery and decided to give work a go. Then sat in static traffic for 45 mins on the M25 (that bit I do not miss) but it did give me the time to read through all the leaflets the mac nurse had given me last week and I had conveniently pushed to the bottom of my bag. Finally got into work about lunchtime and got a very warm and pleasant welcome, its was nice to be back in the throw of things and managed to sort out a few thigs that needed my attention then started to feel tired so back in the car and onto the M25 again which was behaving itself thank god.

Got back and picked up son from nursery then home and back into the warm, feeling a bit knackered now but hopefully that will help with my sleeping tonight and no work tomorrow because I have my body scan. Dinner is now on too so have had a very productive day all in all.

take care love Terri xxx