suzie ann

you were right !!!

2011-01-26T11:12:50Z

Well what can i say but yes you were all right,Dads funeral went smoothly, we cried lots and later we laughed loads,Dad would have enjoyed the day. Now we have to start to get back to "normal",hubby and me are finding it a struggle not having to "do" things for Dad and seem to just sit there looking at the walls, so we went back to work yesterday,i found out what wonderful people i work with, there was big banners saying "welcome back Sue" the biggest bouquet of flowers i'v ever seen, they made my first day back lovely. Then this morning it hit me again!!!!!,i hadnt got to rush back from work to "see" to Dad as i walked up the street tears were rolling down my face and i was thinking "dont really want to go home",but i knew i had too,so home i went,as i walked in, heart in my shoes there ....was another big bouquet of flowers waiting for me...another milestone to get over..its my birthday..and Dads not here, but as the morning gone on more flowers have arrived and text messages galore,so a very mixed day sad that Dads not here to share my day but happy and very very grateful to all the people i have in my life.xxxx

Panic !!!

2011-01-23T16:00:36Z

Well its the day before Dads funeral and the panic has set in!!!!

I've tried to keep busy organising things cleaning the house as if the queen is coming and nothing has helped this feeling of panic and dread that i'm having to have to say goodbye to my Dad, i really dont want tomorrow to come yet i know it will and i know with the help of family and friends i will survive it but i cant get over this feeling, i just dont know where i'm going the find the strength from !!!!!!!!!!

Sinking in....

2011-01-19T21:19:23Z

Well today was my first day on my own since dad went, everyone gone to work,just me alone in the house,i might aswell been sitting on the moon,i know i could have phoned hubby or kids even just for a chat but didn't want to worry them,hubby was worried about leaving me as it was,and my two best mates who i know i could ring and they would come at the drop of a hat,but i knew this day had to come and i had to cope,thought i was doing so well maybe I'm not as strong as i thought i was only time will tell, think writing this is helping though, getting things "off my chest" so to speak, the thing is i'v always been the "tough" one in our family they all look to me as to say "what shall we do" so i'v got to be strong for them, help them through this and once their ok then i can look after me,i know they are worried about me so if i can stay strong for just a little longer and see them though this, ok think i'm starting to ramble now so best quit before i make a fool of myself .

Suzie Ann xxxxx

My Special Dad

2011-01-15T14:06:48Z

This is my first blogg so forgive me if it doesnt make sense.

The time has come that i have been dreading for months, my beloved dad has gone,and i feel my heart has been ripped out, all my friends in chat have been with us helping,supporting, caring,advising, just being there when needed, when ever i switched on someone was there,i could not have done this without the support i have recieved from the special friends i have made. While we sat at home waiting for the GP and nurses to turn up i had all my family with me and i had to come and sign in to "chat" not to chat but just to have you with me as now you are part of my family and needed you to be with me at this time just knowing you were there was comforting,and i know you will remain there as long as i need you,and in return i hope i have been and will continue to support others.i think only the people that use this site can understand the special bond we all have and i thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart.

LOVE YOU ALL

SUZIE ANN XXXXX