splash2008

Thank you all, much appreciated

2010-06-09T22:17:14Z

I would like to thank you all. Unfortunately i was not on the site long, but i did get a great deal of support and kind words from you all. Last week i felt so alone at times i needed to 'talk' to anyone. I found this site and poured out my thoughts, was good to release some of the emotion i was going through.

I wont name you all who gave your time and kind words to my blogs, (i would hate to miss anyone out)

I will say your kind words to my first blog got me to understand how my mum would of been feeling, and gave the strength to have a open heart to heart with my mum. For that i am eternally greatful.

This is an amazing site and god bless you all.

Splash xxxxx

my mum died today

2010-06-07T15:49:28Z

although i only started to put a few blogs in recently, i thought i would let you all know i really appreciated you support and help

I didnt get my mum to hospital to have her blood transfusion, after talking to her dr i decided with my brother we wanted her to go to hospice. I did arrange this at 12 lunch time, however i bathed my mum, assisted her to front room, and she died within 10 mins (12.50) 34 days after my dad died. After 56 years together they were only apart 34 day some comfort in that.

Once again thank you all for your help and support.

Splash xxxx

tomorrow i take my mum for a blood transfusion

2010-06-06T18:51:41Z

Spent a kinda relaxed weekend with mum, having had an horrendous week where she was bitter and angry and wouldnt talk, yesterday i sat next to her, put my arms around her, told her how much she means to us all, told her i cant imagine what she is thinking, but talked about her having the blood transfusion, promised her we wont make her stay any longer than needed, but also stressed she is very weak and the hospital may decide on a drip for her being dehydrated(sorry cant think what its called).

I may be wrong, although my mum has no energy whatsoever, cant even sit for more than 5 minutes, i asked if she had any pain, she said not, and thats when i said to her, i cant promise you but i dont think your knocking on heavens door mum your not in pain, from that moment she seemed to relax and we have had 2 days where there is no atmosphere (Me not understanding at her refusal to talk to me and keep pushing trying to get her to talk) Mum has slept 98% of the time.

Part of me is worried she will not come home, but i think we all think that when our loved one is so ill. Just hope that tomorrow goes smoothly and i bring her home in better condition than she went in.

Take care everyone,

Splash xxx

how can i get my mum to talk instead of shutting me out

2010-06-04T14:11:09Z

In 2007 my mum had breast cancer at the age of 69. She needed radiotherapy only and made a full recovery, she went for screenings and only had to go once a year as everything was ok. Mean while from 2008 she started suffering from frequent water infections, would complain of a pain round her front to half way round her back on the left side. She must of put a water sample in every week fortnight for almost 18 months. Numerous water infections were detected and anti biotics were given. Eventually she had an appointment with a consultant which i attended with her, explained what was happening, and his response was it is not gall stones and he didnt want to put her through a operation at her age when the symptons she has said would not go away by having operation. No further appointments were given yet she continued to be in pain.

January this year i noticed a big chance in my mum, she went from jumping on bus and going to supermarket for a loaf of bread, to not wanting to leave the house. Within 10 days of this happening i had taken her to see an emergency dr, who took one look at her and said take her to A&E. I did this and she was admitted to a local hospital where they diagnosed a 'very bad water infection' and discharged her next day. Her symptons were very servere and i took her back to her gp and was begging him to admit her to hospital again. Was told there was a procedure to follow and hospitals are not the best place for people ill to be!. He did arrange for an emergency camera to her stomach and her bowel. When this was carried out one weeks apart they found nothing, again i took her back to dr and demanded that something happen, told him i wanted her weighed as she weighed 10s10lb on 1 feb when he weighed her she weigh 9s4lb (middle of march), he agreed to send her for a camera into her bladder and her kidney gave me the forms to 'choose & book' her appointment, i came home straight on pc and booked her appointments, one was 7 weeks and other 9 weeks from that date. By this time my mum was in constant pain, stopped eatting due to D&S and really struggling. My dad had a communtiy matron due to ill health and on visiting him she looked at my mum, said we are not waiting any longer, called dr and demanded my mum be admitted urgently to hospital. She was in hospital for 10 days when they carried out a scan what does the full body (sorry cant remember the name) and she was then given a consultant, who discovered she has very high grade, invasive bladder cancer, given her weeks to months to live as no treatment would be suitable for her. She had to have a stent put in her kidney as one kindey had packed up and other was bearly working, said this will give her a little relief.

She has now been home 6 weeks and sadly my dad died 4 weeks ago, we have noticed mum is changing colour, nurse said yesterday her renial functions are bearly working, she is getting weaker by the day, but refuses to leave the house, adamant that she will not go back to hospital or a hospice. Over the last 10 days mum has become very angry, bitter and is refusing to talk, just wants to be in her room smoking herself to death.

I am a person who tends to speak what i think, and although i have great respect for my mum i am struggling the way she is dealing with it. I have said to her today i may not be able to help but she can talk to me, not to exclude us, i am the youngest of 6 children, 4 live locally, my brother and i are with my mum constantly 24/7 i have just returned home first time in 4 days, but i have noticed when i am going home my mum anger and bitterness increases towards me, I want to spend all my time with my mum, and have no regrets on that front but today i feel like i need to get away from it all.

Sorry to sound nasty towards her, i just want to let her know how much she means to me, maybe im also bitter at losing both parents, i have accepted my mum is going to die, just cant handle her excluding me.