somissed

anniversary

2011-04-05T10:40:32Z

our first anniversary since jims death, it would have been 36 years, spending the day with my son.............................

Worn out

2011-03-30T22:14:10Z

I havent been on this sight for a while, to be honest it isnt the easiest sight to find my way around [ for me anyway ]

Life just goes on and i am still missing my jim more than ever, it gets to the stage when the fight goes out of you and just accept that life[ WILL NEVER BE THE SAME]

feelin better

2011-03-13T23:08:01Z

Hi all

I have felt a little better of late, i still have the hang ups but are dealing with them.

I met a lady who lost her husband 4 years ago. she is so inspirational and helps many people with promblems and need support, she is totally non-judjmental and makes time for everybody whilst still helping out with children and grandchildren.

I went for lunch with the lady and her friends, it was a first for me without my jim. the only problem being i had a bit of a wobble later in the evening as i felt as if i was leaving jim behind and was scarred as i had'nt thought of him for a few hours' is this "normal".

chris. xxx

cheesed off

2011-03-10T22:24:26Z

Sorry to sound so misserable but iam feeling realy pxxxxd off today. I am fed up of being alone every night watching mindless t.v.

when jim was alive we would be chatting away,discussing where we would be going tommorow going to see the grand-children doing every day things, untill that vile, hideouse agressive and evil disease enters and destroys lives.

Iam sorry to say these things but will cancer ever be erradicated? I think to myself why the hell are we here. Its the survival of the fittest and whats the point in fighting to beat this grief i may as well give up now.

love to you all

chris. x x x x

beareved

2011-03-07T22:17:50Z

Hi to anyone who will listen, iam new to this sight and still can't get the hang of it .

When i lost my dear husband jim to gullet cancer it was the end of my world for me. it is now 8 months since his death things are a little easier, iam learning to cope with it , getting over it is a differnt story how can i after all he was and is the love of my life.

I read somewere its like negotiating around an elephant you just get better at it. I hate being on my own the nights are much worse who on earth do you talk to, and yes i do talk to my self and answer as well, oh well going off my head will perhaps help. Well i might get a reply if ive done this right. off to bed soon nite nite.