Smoking until the end - any advice?

2010-05-31T09:24:51Z

Hello.

This is my first ever blog and not entirely sure what I'm doing!

My father has been given a very short prognosis of a number of weeks. He originally had bladder cancer which was treated but the treatment masked the effects of rare cancer cells originating in the pancreas and travelling to the peritoneum around the intestines and stomach.

He is an alcoholic and has smoked at least a packet of cigarettes a day for over 30 years. There does not appear to be a direct link between this second cancer he has developed and smoking/drinking but I cannot imagine it has helped the situation - I still feel so angry that he chose those things over his family for so many years - even now when he is so unwell he is smoking more than ever and sits outside smoking one after the other and doesn't seem to want to sit with is family inside the house because he doesn't smoke inside. I can't get my head around his decisions - surely now at the end when he's done so much damage to himself he is still choosing cigarettes over his family. I realise it is an addiction and nothing we have ever said has encouraged him to stop but when is enough enough? It is so upsetting for everyone and makes it so hard to be kind and loving to him when we feel we get nothing back. He doesn't seem to want to spend time with us or talk, even for five minutes if that is all he feels up to.

If anyone out there has had similar experiences or is a smoker and unwell, please can you help me to try and understand. I don't want to be angry any more.