shamrockx2's blog

Is it time to celebrate ?

2008-12-28T20:45:43Z

Hi all Hope everyone had a good x mas and that 2009 will bring all that you wish and hope for. I am nearing the end of my chemo course and have only one more to get next week, it will be fantastic to feel well again without all the side effects, however i am a bit apprehensive about cutting ties with the chemo ward and the district nurses who have been doing weekly bloods and central line care, has anyone else felt like this ? not that i want more chemo God no- but cant help thinking that i will feel a bit abandoned without the security of this weekly contact and knowing that i could relay any worries about any aches and pains etc to the nurses or medical staff for reassurance or investigations if necessary, i still have radiotherapy to get but dont feel it will be the same as from what i have heard it is in and out as quickly as possible for your ssession. I wonder if this is now the time when i should try and put this whole cancer episode in my life behind me and moove on ! is it easier said than done ? has anyone else reached this stage and if so was it easy to step onto the next stage of your life. On a cheerier note my son arrived home for x mas from Australia, it was a complete surprise and wonderful to see him after 2 years away, he is hear for a month so lots of time to catch up. On reflection Chemo sessions havent been too bad, mouth ulcers and nausea have been the worst side effects but the staff on chemo ward have been fantastic and found a solution to all my side effects ,O K they had to reduce the dose of the most toxic drug to stop the mouth ulcers taking over but stop them it did and they are confident that the reduction will have no effect on the overall outcome so now that i am nearing the end of treatment i can only trust them and hope for the best. Take care Shamrock

Breast cancer

2008-11-02T13:54:32Z

Hi again,i know it is some time since i last wrote but have had problems with broadband connection which put me off trying to log on to the computer but as it is working just now hopefully it will stay connected, but if i stop in mid sentence then you will know i have been cut off . I have had cycle 3 of my 6 cycles of chemo on Friday past 31st,nearly dident go ahead as my bloods were low and a repeat sample on fri morning showed they had come up but not enough so i was sent home to wait another week ,off i went to the supermarket and was at the checkout when my mobile rang and it was the hospital to say that the consultant had agreed to go ahead with chemo and could i come back, needless to say i was delighted,imadgine been delighted to be getting chemo! it dosent make sense really, but when you know you have to get it sometime you just want it over and done with and as this was my halfway mark i was delighted at reaching it. Chemo 2 was not as bad as number 1 although i did have some sickness and reaction to one of the drugs so this time it is another lot of new anti-sickness tabs to take,by the time they get the correct balance right for me i will be finished the course. Had a good day yesterday and managed to go out pheasant and deer spotting up the highlands and yes saw plenty of snow on the mountains,wasent up to any climbing but all that to look forward to next year,paying the price today as i am fit for nothing only lying and sitting,nausea worse than yesterday,"i wonder why" probably self inflicted with all that driving yesterday but it was such a glorious day coudent resist the offer from hubby who is a real highland /wildlife fan. Remember the wig saga!! well i still think it is red/grey streaks but maby chemo makes you colour blind because everyone else tells me it is brown/blonde anyway i am getting used to it and wear it outside the house, it is great not to have to bother with drying/straightening ,one of the good points i suppose, I had lots of visitors from ireland (my home land) over the past few weeks and when i went looking for shampoo for them realised i only had Mens stuff no conditioner ,so they had to make do with theese little sample bottles that you nick from hotel rooms ,i always seem to have a collection gathering dust in a basket ,they came in useful over the past few weeks,i even set them out like the hotels for the second lot of visitors which impressed them,they dident know that i took the use-by dates off !! I am feeling remarkibly positive just now and think it is because i am at the halfway mark of chemo cycles so anyone reading this and just beginning set a goal to reach half way and then it will not seem so bad dont think about the other half until you have to. Take care Be positive Shamrock

Post chemo

2008-10-02T16:32:15Z

Hi there Havent written for ages.had first chemo 3 weeks ago and it was not so bad apart from nausea which they will sort out next time,lots of new anti-sickness drugs on the go at present apparently so heres hoping, was meant to have second session today but counts too low and hear was i counting out and marking the dates of when each session is due,valuable lesson learnt today and wont do that again,so have been busy going through the calendar and scoring the predicted dates off,last one was meant to be x mas week i guess that is the reality of this illness, nothing is straight forward and you are unable to plan too far ahead as there will be set backs along the way but i suppose a set back in treatment is o k so long as there is no setback in prognosis. Had my Macmillan coffee morning since i last wrote and it was a fantastic suxcess, raised 224 Pounds which was brilliant considering it was at the house and not advertised ,just friends and neighbours, so looking forward to next years.it was a great excuse for all work colleagues who were reluctant to contact me before as they dident know what to say to come along for a coffee. My little Grandaughter is 11 weeks old now,how time flies in some ways, she is so cute and smiles at everyone and everything even me in my wig (when i tried it on for my daughter to see who was very diplomatic and pretended she hadent noticed it !!,) but i suppose that would make anyone laugh, This wig lady convinced me that it was coloured brown with blonde streaks so i believed her and took it home in its box where it has stayed until today when the short hairstyle suddenly became the "wispy/ bald patched style" overnight, decided to put it on today and set off for my appointment no problem there no one commented , i then decided on a bit of retail therapy after hearing i was ent getting chemo today, trying on a few clothes in changing room and suddenly i got a good look at this wig in the mirror and it is no more brown/blonde than the man in the moon but red/grey "awful " now thinking of binning it and stocking up on hats ,final decision will be the reaction from hubby when he comes home from work and as it is nearly that time better sign off and get organised. Take care Shamrock

waiting on chemo

2008-09-03T20:43:46Z

Hi I am new to the site and have never written a blog before so hear goes. I had surgery for breast cancer 7 weeks ago, it feels like such a long time ago now as if this disease has been in my life for ever, but of course a lot has happened in that 7 weeks, meetings with surgeon/oncologust,research nurse,up for blood tests,heart scan before chemo starts,it is almost like someone has mapped out this path for me and i have to trust everyone else to know that it is the right one for me and i have no choice but to follow it, Oh for a SAT-NAV system to tell us where to go !!,not to be in controll is hard. At last a date to start chemo which is the 11th, not sure which type i am getting yet, 2 options because i have entered a trial and will be ramdomised to one, both sound pretty awful, standard FEC or a combination of Capecitabine and Docetaxel. Dreading the hair loss most and wondering if it will grow back white/grey as i am 56 and im sure if my 8 weekly top-up wasent applied i would be pretty grey, will have to wait and see. Have organised a coffee morning on sat in aid of macmillan cancer support, busy all week baking etc, hope the rain stays away but the forecast is not looking good,(My poor floors) looking forward to seeing some work colleagues and catching up on all the latest, Would now love to be in a Job where you can continue to work as able during treatment,it must be a great distraction , i did try to go back to work but was not allowed, as a paediatric charge nurse it is too risky in case i pick up infections from the sick children or make a mistake. will have to find a hobby!! At the moment my new grand-daughter is my hobby , she is 7 weeks old and gorgeous, i see her twice weekly at present as they live 70 miles away, hope i will still be able to travel during chemo. Shamrock