AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Only have 5 minutes to wirte this before I have to go to my onc appointment to find out how bad the recurrance is and what treatment etc is needed, but realy need to blurt for a bit.
So on top of all this worry and fear about this appointment today, which to be honest although I do try and be big tough and brave has realy not been very easy, this morning I woke up to an email to say that I got a job interview so am totally freaking out.
Its for a job as a lecturer in Australia (as I am actually from Australia) and is to start next year. I totally kind of forgot all about the fact I had applied as this crap totally took over my life for a bit, but now what do I do.
Do I have the interview, do I not, do I tell them about the cancer, or do I keep quiet. Oh I really want to go back to Oz. Should I just go now or have treatment here first and then go. To many possibilities. But maybe this is my silver lining. I dont know.
Guess we just have to wait to see how today goes first. Once we know all the facts maybe we can start to piece together some of this messy puzzle.
Sorry this must sound totally crazy and all jumbled but I just scared and excitied, and nervous, and one jumbled crazed ball of yuk. So youll just have to put up with my ramblings once again.
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
