Queen's 2nd Coronation

Worse pain

2011-08-11T13:17:48Z

Little update, I am having a down day not sure why wasn't when I woke up it seems to of crept up on me over the morning.

Dad had his last of 5 Radiotherapy sessions yesterday and has been doing ok on it but the pan has been getting a bit worse I think and so today he is calling his nurse for advice and also to suss out what happens now as we don't have another appointment booked or anything planned so radiotherapy is now done what next?! We have been told he will have chemo so I guess he will have that next but not sure if they will want to leave a gap before starting or if they will scan to see if Radiotherapy has done anything or what.

Why does it always end up a waiting game of not knowing what is going on.....

I have half had a chat with OH about my selfish previous blog and think I made things clear and left it for him to ponder. I think as many of you kindly suggest he perhaps already had it in his mind too. All came about as my younger brother has annonced he plans to ask his GF to marry him so was an ideal way to bring it up!

I am trying to be normal and continue with my normal life but it is a struggle to feel motivated.

So many of you on here are brilliant inspiration and really help pick me up so thank you x

To add a selfish about me blog

2011-08-03T15:14:23Z

Not said this out loud or to anyone but feel the need and I guess here is the place to put it.

I have been with my OH for over two years we are very happy together and moved in together after 6 months. I am 30 and really keen to get married and have children, I think he is too but enjoys winding me up about it.

I am finding more and more playing on my mind what if my dad dies before he walkes me down the aisle, before he meets my children......I really want to tell OH this but don't want to make he feel pressure to get married etc as I am a firm believe in the fact you can't push things like that. Equally I am worried he won't of thought about the fact dad has cancer could effect these things.

I don't know how to deal with it but I do know it makes me tearful and is playing on my mind.

3rd August update

2011-08-03T13:29:12Z

Well thnigs have moved on, dad has NSCLC spread to the ilium and sarcum which is causing pressure on the nerve and causing massive pain in one leg, he starts radiotherapy tomorrow for 5 days to hopefully shring the tumour and reduce the pain but we have been told worse could come first and no benefits for 6 weeks. I hope it isn't too bad as he already has really bad pain - we had the ooh doctor to give a morphine injection on Monday night as he was so bad.

Iain Reine have been amazing as has hayley the specialist nurse at Stoke Mandeville. We have a disabled badge, benefit forms to complete and also a hospital type bed coming today. The Iain reine nurse upped his morphine yesterday and it sems to of made him heaps more comfortable so i hope this remain at least for the start of his treatment.

I am really struggling not to feel bad for doing normal thing and enjoying my horse even though dad keeps on at me to do so. It feels wrong to be out doing knowing he is stuck pretty much in bed in pain

Everything crossed for a sucessfull 5 day treatment!

First blog

2011-07-20T14:21:49Z

Well I decided to blog.

My dad is 56 and been diagnosed with cancer, most likely lung cancer primary with mets on both adrenal glands and bone mets the ilium and sacrum.

He is suffering no symptoms other than pain from teh bone cancer and this pain is bad, he is on a mix of pain killers including morphine but they aren't really working. We have an appointment on Friday which mum and dad have asked me to attend as well and this will tell us the results of the bone biopsy and therefore the type and stage of the cancer - although I have already sussed out he is a stage 4. I hope it isn't an aggresive type but fear the worst. I am hoping in hte appointment we can address the pain issue and get a new plan in place for that as well as a treatment plan.

Not sure why I am writing all this down but feels like I should..........more after Friday