pammy62's blog pammy62's blog https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/pammy62/atomTelligent Community (Build: 12.1.2.21912)2009-03-11T22:22:20ZI've refused chemo...https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/pammy62/posts/i-ve-refused-chemo2009-10-14T21:27:31Z2009-10-14T21:27:31Z<p>Hi everyone !, Not used to this site yet and never know where to write to....so here goes it gets to someone who can understand ...hopefully.</p>
<p>Diagnosed ayear ago with tumour in my colon. Had right hemi colectomy almost 12 mths ago, followed by discussions re suggested 6mth chemo course which I felt was not worth all the hassle, especially as 17 of 29 lymph nodes were positive. I still feel the same way 12 mths later and have had an enjoyable summer; which I wouldn't have had if I'd agreed to chemo. My family have not really understood my decision, but seem to have accepted it. I know that its highly likely to spread to my liver/lungs and possibly bones by now, or within the next few months. My 1st annual chest/abdomen/pelvis CT scan is in 2 weeks time, with the a colonoscopy similar time. I'm still very happy that I did not agree to have chemo ,and feel able to live life as I choose, each day and make some plans for a few weeks ahead at a time.</p>
<p>This is the quality of life I've chosen to have NOW, and will hopefully cope well enough with whatever this cursed disease chooses to throw at me in x months time.</p>
<p>I am not afraid of dying...well not yet any way !! Maybe when its staring me in the face I shall feel different; who knows. Meanwhile my granddaughters still have a lively, active and funny [so they keep telling me !] grandma who can still take them to ballet class, read to them, listen to their little secrets etc. What I did not want them to do was remember a very sickly, tired grandma who was always in/out of hospital etc. I'm hoping [ like us all]that my end of life will be fairly quick and least disturbing to my family. NO..... I am not being a martyr, I just feel its my right to choose, yet even various professionals whom I come into contact with keep saying its very unusual for someone to refuse chemo....and look at me as if I'm hiding something.....totally ga ga .... or a fraud !!!!!</p>
<p>Is there anyone out there who CAN understand my decision , or maybe even someone who has also refused chemo. It just might help me feel less isolated from all your unquestionably brave people who have grasped the nettle; called chemo ?</p>
<p>Love and hugs for anyone who needs one right now.</p>
<p>xxxx</p>
<p> </p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=261647&AppID=17010&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermemberJust joined..!https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/pammy62/posts/just-joined2009-03-11T21:22:20Z2009-03-11T21:22:20ZJust to say Hi to everyone !!!! Not sure how this site works yet ?? have completed my intro and thought this would be my blog.......but no...seems I have to write here too !? Hope someone reads this/my intro thingy and responds. ??<div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=221827&AppID=17010&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermember