padders

scared need some support from you guys

2011-07-18T09:50:01Z

hello, not been on here for a while, i was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009, i had a lumpectomy and lymph node removal, then 6 lots of fec chemo and radiotherapy and have been on tamoxifen ever since. have had severe neck pain for the last 6 months, kept gettin dismissed by the doctors saying it would go away, now after an mri scan which i had to push for, they think that i have secondary bone mets in my spine!! waiting to see my oncologist for a definite diagnosis but i just wanted to ask you guys on here for anything you can tell me about bone mets? treaments, prognosis etc. i am gonna fight it again but at the minute im in that terrified stage incase its spread elsewhere. this site helped me so much last time, such lovely people.

thanks and love to evryone

sam

xxx

not blogged for a bit

2010-01-22T10:04:00Z

hey everyone,

well ive not been on for a bit so just wanted to update, got some good news yesterday, mums 6 monthly check up scan was all clear! thats two in a row now go mum!!! she had bowel cancer twice and then it spread to her liver, but she is doing so well, she is my inspiration on this tough road, i had my 5th chemo on wednesday, one more to go! cant wait to get it over, so far touch wood (been doing alot of that lately) this chemo is not as severe as my first one which made me terribly sick, just hot flushes, heavy tummy, constipation, the usual suspects, but so far no sickness, that i hate more than anything else. so just resting lots and watching dvds. gonna go out for a walk to the shop later, not far but i reckon it will do me good, took me a week to get out after the last one, but the nurse said that would have been the cross over between the two chemos, so heres to that little glimmer of light at the end of this very dark tunnel, still a long way to go but im heading in the right direction! and i have had the most amazing support. so thank you to everyone who has been there for me that includes the people on here, all your comments and replies mean so much but especially my amazing girlfriend, you are my strength andi love you now and always xxxx

happy christmas

2009-12-24T08:41:20Z

just wanted to wish all the amazing brave people on here a happy xmas, im off to spend it with my family. ho ho ho

love and hugs

sam

xxx

halfway point yay!!!

2009-12-10T12:19:46Z

hey everyone,

well yetserday i had my 3rd fec chemo, that is halfway, it feels like a milestone on this long tough road, i was feeling a bit sick when i went yesterday not sure if i had a tummy bug, anyway i had asked for stronger anti sicknes as i had vomitted the first night both times before, what they didnt tell me was i had to take one and then wait an hour before chemo, ah well had to be done, the nurse informed me that the tablets cost 74 quid for 3 tablets! well i thought as cheryl cole would say "come on your you're worth it!" lol

so tablet taken magazine red then chemo starts, i dont know if its because its my 3rd one or i was just nervous but felt a bit sick this time. anyway after arriving at 1345 appt supposed to be at 2 then going in closer to 3 with the extra hour left about 530, long day.

got home and didnt feel too bad but from past experiences new it would get worse later, but fortunately it looked like this gold plated tablets do work, i didnt vomit (touches wood!) and just felt queasy up and down a bit but got some sleep, in bed today gonna pamper myself.

my wonderful girlfriend is coming to visit me tomorrow for a long weekend, im so excited, we are having our own christmas day as we wont be together at xmas. cant wait quality time with the girl who has truly been my rock through all this, i love you baby, you and me against the world.

anyway enough about me, ive been blog reading today and there truly are some brave amazing people on here, every single one of you deserves a medal. maybe we should petition for a i fought cancer medal after all it is a battle! ok off to rest.

lots of love + hugs

sam

xxx

my wonderful girlfriend

2009-12-04T12:13:04Z

hey everyone,

i just wanted to write a blog about the support i have whilst im going through this battle. i was diagnosed in july this year which apart from when my mum was diagnosed with cancer (3 times!) was the worst thing to ever happen to me, but also this year i had the best thing to ever happen to me aswell, i fell in love with a wonderful girl. what a year of mixed emotions, but it has helped me realise that i have met 'the one' i know corny but true, when i was diagnosed we had only been going out a couple of months and she could quite easily have walked away, especially as her dad had died of cancer when she was young, i wouldnt have blamed her if she had, but she didnt and it brought us even closer together, she has been amazing, she is my rock always there for me day and night, i can talk to her about anything whatever mood im in and she will listen. its not an ideal situation as i live in the north west and she lives in london but as she says we make it work because we want to. so i just wanted to write this blog to say thank you my beautiful girlfriend for coming into my life, you truly are my guardian angel and i love you with all my heart now and forever, me and you against the world baby.

sam

xxx

second chemo out of the way

2009-11-20T08:26:53Z

hello everyone,

well had my second fec chemo on wednesday, got home and didnt feel as bad as the time before but i knew that it would probably get worse later and sure enough midnight and i was very sick then up and down all night with a bad stomach, yesterday just felt awful all day so stayed in bed, today however im up and about in my new house, feeling alot better so just gonna take it easy. myself and my friend moved in to our new shared house last thursday got it all done in one day thanks to some wonderful friends and family, where would we be without these people? we are settling in very well the house has a lovely feeling about it and its gorgeous lots of character old georgian property. its such a comfort to me too knowing my friend is in the same house whilst i am having my chemo, she is there if i need her its not as lonely. my partner is coming to visit me from london this weekend so im planning om having a lovely relaxing weekend. right im off to try and eat something.

best wishes and lots of love

sam

xxx

moving house....

2009-11-11T12:37:26Z

hey everyone,

well im all packed up and ready to move house, just sitting amongst boxes and bags now, my lovely flat reduced to bin bags and cardboard, but i am actually excited about my move, im moving into a house share with a friend to save on bills etc. moving from a flat into a huge georgian style house, a new beginning even though i have just started my chemo it feels like a positive move, i will be in before my second dose next week and so far touch wood it has been stress free but i do think some of that is down to the fact that ive been through so much since july when i was diagnosed that nothing stresses me like that now anyway, nothing can compare to the stress of waiting for numerous scans and x rays to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else, im sure lots of you know that feeling all too well, ive never experienced anything like it in my life the terror and overwhelming feeling of fear that grips you. so moving house pfffff bring it on!!! anyway just wanted to share as i may not be on for a while due to the move. hope everyone is well. and something that i read on here really struck a chord, drew whom i know plenty of you know said

" good day, bad day, as long as its not NO day!"

thank you for that drew i will keep that with me.

best wishes to all

sam

xxx

what a difference a day makes...

2009-11-10T10:31:14Z

hey everyone,

after having a good day yesterday with my lovely walk along blackpool prom, this morning i feel absolutely exhausted like i have run a marathon, what a difference, my stomach just wont settle ive gone from constipation to the opposite apologies for this detail, i need to start packing as im hopefully moving on thursday but just cant summon the energy at the minute, cant get used to this tiredness its like nothing ive ever felt before, go back today to start all over again, the end seems so far away again today, anyway just wanted to let that out gonna try and get moving with the packing. thanks for listening heres hoping for better days to come.

sam

xxx

a walk along the prom...

2009-11-09T12:33:55Z

hey everyone,

woke this morning feeling very lethargic, looked outside and it is a beautiful sunny day here in blackpool so i forced myself to get dressed, went for a walk along the prom down by the pleasure beach, what a lovely walk it was, a few people out doing the same, im so glad i went the sea was so calm and i stood looking out across the beach for a while watching people doing normal things like walking dogs and going for a walk, it brings evrything back into focus, im on my 3rd week now chemo again next week but im going to make the most of the days i can still go out, you take these days for granted when you are well. i will be able to keep today in my head on the days next week when im in bed for a couple of days. also looks like i will be moving this week so there is something else to focus on new home new start, bring on the chemo and like someone said if its making you feel this bad imagine what its doing to the cancer!!! best wishes to everyone on this beautiful sunny day!

sam

xxx

my life changing year

2009-11-05T13:17:53Z

hello,

im new to this site but i have been inspired to write this by the people on here, you know that feeling when you get diagnosed that you are so alone even with people around you? well that went away when i came on this site, there are some truly amazing people on her going through the toughest times you are all an inspiration. i would like to share my story, ive had a life changing year but we have had cancer in our family for the last 6 years now. my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer about 6 years ago, she had half her bowel removed, the cancer then returned on the join about 2 years later, she had her bowel removed and an iliostomy (excuse my medical word spelling!) lots of chemo and treatment and she was doing really well for another couple of years and then last year they found it had spread to her liver, she had a major liver operation to remove two thirds of her liver, fortunately this was a success, needless to say it was the toughest time me and my dad backwards and forwards everyday to high dependency unit in bllackburn which is 45 mins away to see her, but she is an amazing woman and her last scan was thankfully clear, so we were having a bit of a rest from cancer and hospitals last year and then i had to go and spoil it, in july was examining myself as i regularly do and found a small lump, i think i knew straight away what it was even though id had fatty lumps before this was different, rang the docs who couldnt fit me in until the end of the week even though i explained, so a worry filled few days, saw my doc and she had had breast cancer herself so she refers everyone with any lump which is good. so my trips to hospital started from there, had ultra sound then biopsy then was diagnosed with breast cancer, i remember getting the news, the doc put his hand on my shoulder and just said im afraid it is cancer, i dont think my mouth has ever been so dry and i thought i was gonna throw up. my mum came in and she was amazing even though she had been through it herself and it was her daughter she kept it together for me, so from there its been a blur two ops one to remove the lump and then to remove the lymph nodes, these were sucessful which is a positive, the fact that it had only spread to 10 out of 19 lymph nodes is a positive, isnt it amazing where you find positives in all of this? started my fec chemo last week, have been quite sick with it but i do have a very sensitive stomach so to be expected, gotta have 2 more then i think im on tax is it? then raditoherapy then tablets for years, but if it makes me better then its worth it. also just after i was diagnosed my nana who was 90 got diagnosed with bladder cancer, she died a couple of months ago, we werent very close but it still is something else the family has had to del with. but out of all of this it has changed the way i live my life, each day is a blessing im not religious but i believe you should live each day to the fullest, positive thinking is our buzz word and it sounds cliched but i dont care it works, it worked for my amazing mum and its gonna work for me. wow i dont know where all that came form think i just needed to get that off my chest. hello to anyone reading this and i hope you are well or you are getting there keep thinking positive there are good things out there i fell in love just before i was diagnosed and my partner has been my rock, so keep smiling.

sam

xxx