Just one of life's curve-balls!

Tizer..the surprizer! (first chemo)

2009-11-14T16:58:49Z

Hi All

Well the first chemo wasn’t as bad as I’d built it up to be in my mind, despite taking a full 8 hours due to me having a bit of a hot flush halfway through; they seemed more worried about it than I was.

I must admit that I was put on the back foot when I first entered the chemo room, because the reality of the situation suddenly hit me with renewed clarity. However within minutes I was put at my ease by the wonderful staff and fellow patients.

I have notice over the past weeks that on-line and face to face, other people that are in the same or often worse position than I am are always full of kind words and eager to offer help and advice. I have found this friendliness very humbling, and I’ll be sure to follow this example throughout this trying time and beyond.

The day after chemo seems to be going well, I’m not sure if there’s an exact schedule for the side effects to put in an appearance, but so far it’s not been that bad. I seem to have woken this morning with what feels like a hangover, I’m a little queasy, and I can hear the blood pumping through my head. As for the one embarrassing side effect, well I won’t go into great detail…but it’s never been the colour of Tizer before!

Best wishes to all

Paul

PS. I’m now off to buy some….you’ve guessed it….Irn Bru

Approaching base camp

2009-11-12T19:56:16Z

Hi All

As I finished my last post with a mountain climbing analogy, I thought I'll stick with it.

I will be starting R CHOP for the first time tomorrow and I'm a little apprehensive, but I see this as the base camp and if I want to get to the top this is the starting point. I was reading up about the treatment and its side effects, but found it was depressing me so I stopped. I'm happier to go into this in blissful ignorance and then cope with the few side effects that I get, rather than worry about 20 side effects all at once.

Another thing I'm dealing with at the moment is ambivalence; to be honest I didn’t even know the meaning of the word before. I am now commonly experiencing two conflicting emotions at once; I’m turning into an “angry pacifist”. I’m normally very level headed and never really lose my temper, but I‘m increasingly finding things that annoy me. The really odd thing is that at the same time I also get an overwhelming sense off “so what!…live and let live!…it’s not worth get upset about!”. For instance - if another motorist is discourteous part of me wants to shout at him and the other half wants pat him on the back.

Well that’s enough about my mental confusion, I’ll be back soon to let you know which of the myriad of side effects I’m lucky to be experiencing.

All the best

Paul

Dignity intact....well almost!

2009-11-05T18:27:31Z

Having some bone marrow taken - I wonder if there's any truth in it when the doctor tells you that some people hardly notice the procedure at all?

I recently went to have some bone marrow taken as part of assessing the extent of the NHL and this is how things went.

The during the time in the waiting room we at first started to pass the time by reading a 1998 edition of What Caravan, but soon we were distracted by the noises coming from the room where this procedure was taking place. The middle aged gent that went in before me was screaming the place down; the poor chap was obviously having a tough time of it. The staff tried turning up the radio that was playing but it didn't work. All those in the waiting room looked at each other and all were thinking "it could be me next!"

Well it was infact me next and I was determined not to crack. With four people in the treatment room, including a couple of students who were there for the experience (their words not mine) the event was well attended.

As it turned out it was not a pleasant experience, but I suppose different people deal with it in different ways. My method was to grit my teeth and clench my buttocks at the same time, or was it the other was round? However I'm proud say I didn't scream once, and left the room with my head held high and my dignity intact.

Well I say intact - looking back now I had just spent 20 minutes bent double with my trousers at half mast in a room full of strangers!

Well...onwards and upwards!

Paul

The first ups and downs

2009-11-04T21:23:39Z

Hi All

I’ve just been diagnosed with NHL but have yet to find out which type it is. I can understand that the next few months will bring with it some emotional ups and downs, and I’m sure talking to a bunch of people who are going through the same ordeals will be a good thing.

Talking of ups and downs – Has anyone else had a diagnosis like the one I had, whereby I was given the bad news, then given the all clear and once again given bad news…all in the space of half an hour!

In a nutshell this is what happened.

Mr S the ENT Consultant 10.30am

“I’m very sorry to tell you that the lump we removed was a Lymphoma, I’m now referring you to a colleague of mine whose field this is, and he will be looking after your case from now on.”

We (the wife and I) stumbled along to Mr K in the Haematologist/Oncologist Department 10.45am

“There seems to be some mistake, looking at the report it states you have a Lipoma, and that’s very good news! I’ll just phone my colleague to confirm that this is correct.”

(Can you imagine how our spirits soared???)

After contacting Mr S and then calling the lab that produced the results…his expression changed.

10.55am

“Sorry but, the first diagnosis was correct, you do have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.”

Despite the unusual way of finding out I have this thing, I am determined to stay positive and try and look on the bright side. The only plus point I’ve found so far is, if I’m laid off work and find myself on benefits, I understand I’m entitled to a free wig….Happy days!