Negative Nellie's blog

CT SCAN RESULTS

2009-11-27T07:23:39Z

After two weeks wait - I eventually got the long awated phone call from the nurse with my CT scan results - this showed NO CHANGE - and they will discuss it further at my next Oncology appointment on 14th December.

I really am not sure what NO CHANGE means in real terms.

I am relieved that she did call me and that I was not left in limbo until mid December. Watch this space!

Should I be back at work?

2009-11-23T11:49:59Z

I finisished my five weeks of radiotherapy two weeks ago - and am still waiting the results of the CT scan for a shadow on my lung - BUT this morning I had a phone call from work. NO PRESSURE - BUT WHEN DO I THINK I WILL BE BACK AT WORK?

I am all confused - I have been signed off by the doctor - but feel I am not really ill. I am not really well either - but am not sure how well I am at present to do my job.

I have an Oncology appointment just before Christmas - but up to now every time I have seen an Oncologist - it has been a different doctor, and are often very difficult to understand.

Has anyone else had problems regarding going back to work?

I am on a downward spiral again

2009-10-21T12:57:50Z

I just need to let off some steam and have a quick rant and rave.

Had a really good day up - hospital appointments and transport all ran smoothly - and then I had a call from my BC Nurse.

I felt fine until I mentioned that I had received my appointment for another CT scan for the shadow on my lung (Wednesday 11th November) which is the week after treatment finishes.

What if it is cancer - what if it is cancer caused by the breast cancer - does that mean all this treatment and stress I have been going through has all been in vain? She explained it could be something else - but of course it is now impregnated in my mind. She has promised to follow up the scan and get the results as soon as possible. I feel as if I am going through the initial diagnosis all over again.

Please someone - give me a shove up the spiral.

Thanks M x

TOO MANY COOKS?

2009-10-14T07:41:24Z

I presume I am not the only one who has followed by the book the instructions given by nurse, radiographers etc etc that the only think I can use on the aread of my skin being treated with radiotherapy is BABY SOAP & AQUEOUS CREAM!. not baby bath or similar - just pure baby soap in a bar. No Deoderant, no body lotion etc etc.

I suffer from a skin condition and have steroid creams in varying strengths to use on my skin, particularly under my arms (which is one of the areas being treated.) Consequently since surgery I have been in agony- and then yesterday I saw the Oncologist for the first time after starting radiotherapy and I explained about my sore skin.

Guess what the Oncologist said - ' Yes of course you must use your Steroid creams - you should not have stopped using them'

He also told me that it would be quite OK to use the cream on any other area that becomes sore due to the radiotherapy. How I wish I had known this six weeks ago. But Yippee - it has a happy ending!

NOT COPING

2009-10-10T11:23:52Z

I started radiotherapy last week and am not coping at all with the treatment. Travel can take up to an hour and half in an ambulance - just to get there ( a little quicker if a car is sent). I have not got anyone to travel with me - not that there would be rooom in the tgransport for extras anyway - so feel completely lost and alone on arrival. Hospital is so huge.

I am finding the radiotherapy treatment very claustrophobic, and the position I had to lie in for what seemed like forever was so painful. I was unable to speak or swallow as the chin strap was so tight. Ended up in tears, terrified and upset. Following which they sent 2 social workers to see me. I was fine until they asked me to go into a little room - (Claustrophobic again). I felt it was delaying my treatment and consequently transport home. If you miss the transport you could be there for hours. Then came the real blow - the social workers suggested it may be better for me to be treated as an inpatient for the next four weeks! I cannot repeat my response!

I hear people saying radiotherapy is easy peasy - is it just me that is a wimp - or is there any one else out there who feels close to tears at the thought of the next session?

The Negatives are all looming back.

2009-09-24T11:56:16Z

Yesterday I went for my planning appointment for radiotherapy. What an ordeal. My husband said he would take me for planning appointment but cannot take me for the treatment. I found it all very traumatic. Hospital is miles away - and it was more sitting and waiting around. Very little information seems to have been held in my mind. Eventually after CT scan and tatoos I was given a list of 46 appointments. Some morning, some afternoon, some physio, some oncologist appointments. Because I have breast cancer on both sides I have two appointments daily for the radiotherapy.

Came home in tears - do not know how I can cope. My husband has told me I am ungrateful - well that just makes me cry even more. I am not ungrateful I am just scared and feeling lost once again.

People have offered their services to take me on the odd occasion if they are available - but it is so far away and the number of apppointments - somedays I have three - it just all seems wrong and unfair that they would have to put up with me crying and being upset. And as husband refusing to take me I had no alternative but to opt for the hospital transport.

I know I should be positive and should be not so ungrateful - please give me a shove in the right direction!

Thanks

Maralyn

SCARED AND FRIGHTENED AGAIN

2009-08-22T10:34:25Z

Here I am again - a jibbering idiot. Very scared and frightened about Monday. Op planned for Monday 24th August - both breasts. Hate hospitals , frightened of needles and I woke last night in a hot sweat - thinking I am sure they have not told me everything and that they know more than I do. I feel they that see me as a very anxious person and therefore they have opted no tto tell me everything. My breast care nurse is now on holiday for two weeks as well. No one seems to give me any positive feedback - may be they can't in case they get sued. I am definitely a very sad Negative Nellie today. Maralyn

DIAGNOSED BREAST CANCER LAST WEEK - FEEL SO ALONE AND FRIGHTENED.

2009-08-11T09:16:19Z

Diagnosed last week with breast cancer. Biopsy after biopsy and now more as I found a lump on the other breast which was not found with either mammogram or ultrasound. Also waiting for MRI scan appointment. I am so frightened, and feel totally alone. Unable to cope. Please help me. Maralyn (alias Negative Nellie)