My Journey through Cervix Cancer

337 days later ......

2012-06-13T19:28:00Z

Hello everyone.

So you thought I drop off this planet, well nope I did not.

Let me bring you up to speed, after my operation, life seemed to return to normal, I had the 6 weeks off work, but when I returned things just did not seem to be the same, as someone whom works for the railway I have to do shift work, my memory seemed to not hold information.

Had a brilliant Christmas had all my children round and even my parents and brother, now that a miracle, as my parents are firm believers that everybody should visit them for Christmas.

This now brings us up to date, I have had silly colds, shingles, and feeling run down, I don’t get colds, but then again I did miss the free injection at work. Shingles blimley that was a shock, I had a spot just below my bra line on my back, which I picked, next thing my partner tells me days later I have more red spots, and as I now had a pain below my ribs off I went to be greeted with you immune system is run down have time off work and you got singles. Did my youngest caught chicken pox, nope !

Couple of weeks later I then had my 6 months check up, (vault smear) everything looking good, but a a week later things just did not feel right ‘down there’, so off I went another urine test / swab down and bingo confirmed I had a infection, put on course of tablets for a month

On Sunday 3^rd June, I found out that my x boss had died of cancer via facebook, ok I knew his time was near, hence the reason for what my work colleagues and myself are going on Sunday 17^th June, a 10 mile walk around London raising money for Macmillan, but to find it out on face book!

I have also had to do a blood test done, as GP surgery were concerned over my kidney function, well you guess what got to have a repeat test done as again the kidney function is below par and then go and see the GP, can I get a blood test appointment, nope again I have to await for 2^nd July.

Well it all came to head on evening of Monday 11^th June, on Friday I started to pick silly arguments’ with my partner he was going for the weekend, looking back it was the depression coming at me full steam, I met up with him on his return Monday he informed me that he had being texting a female friend of ours and they were not simple hello texts, and that was it a red rag to the bull, I totally flipped out, the tears would not stop, my life was not worth it etc. After a one side screaming match, me telling him that was it our relationship was over etc, we sat on a train going to pick the car up, and I took an overdose.

I was taken to A&E at hospital, where I was spoken to etc by the senior Dr, whom confirmed that I had not done myself damaged but I need to see the psychiatrist team, after speaking to him, it all can tumbling out, that even thou I had recovered I needed support so did my partner Tim. I was referred back to my GP, but I can’t get an appointment till 4^th July!

Today 13^th June, I made a decision and spoke to Macmillan and asked for help they were wonderful she listen to what I had to say and now I have been signposted to my local support group.

It has taken me 377 days to realise that I need help, I have feelings that have been buried and it time to get my life totally back on track.

But to leave you all on a happy note, something good has come out of this, I cant tell you yet as Tim needs to speak to my father first. :-)

The Recovery After & Week 1

2011-09-05T10:43:24Z

On Friday 26th August I went into Frimley Hospital to have my vaginial hysterectomy.

This went well, I was on ward by 1500 Friday afternoon, I felt a little let down tho, I would thought the nurses would have been a little bit more caring, I got the impression they thought I was there because it was a hysterectomy, but not because I had cancer.

I needed to allow people ie my mum and partner know where I was and asked them to explain how to use the bedside TV/Phone, and was told you dont need that you going home tomorrow and use your mobile, luckly for me I had it with me.

Was moved beds after tea, as turned out I was in the 'pregrenancy' bit and this was closed at weekends.

Good move as I got the bed by the window, and I have have been so pleased to attempt to sleep with a little breeze.

Saturday came and I was asked I am wanted to go home, which I grab with both hands, seeing the food which was offered and the way the staff treatment me, I though sod it get me out of here - bad move. after the on-call dr was paged I had to wait to be seen I eventually got seen at 1945, but I was discharged and home tucked up in my bed by 2100.

WEEK 1

Sunday had friends to come and baby sit my as my partner was unable to be here as he had prior arrangments to see his family and his son, sleeped quite a lot that day.

Monday Eldest daughter returned from weekend visit to grandparents, and my parnter & his son where here, went for a short walk outside with Tim and found it too much for me, so went back to bed.

Tuesday went and saw local Dr to make sure they were aware I was home and also to get paper work for work sorted, signed off 6 weeks :-) then spent most of day up but in a chair and even started a game of mopoloy, had vistors in afternoon.

Wednesday missed that one as slept all day

Thursday my partner took me and kids out to local museum, where he borrowed a wheelchair to put me in

Friday hired a wheelchair from red cross so i could go shopping as my eldest was starting 6th Form and he needed clothes

Saturday had a family day at home

Sunday Tim boy went home, my eldest daughter went back to her dads, and Tim also returned to work (night shift)

Now I know how the empty nest feeling feels I cried for a good 1 hour, as suddenly the house felt very empty

Count down to Friday 26th August

2011-08-23T11:26:58Z

Well we are nearly there, I am booked into hospital for a Vaginal hysterectomy on Friday 26th August.

Today Tuesday 23rd I have my pre appointment, its all becoming to real.

Getting it off my chest

2011-08-02T13:59:23Z

I am possible awaiting a hysterectomy, my specilist is taking advice and its driving me mad.

I was diagionsed with cervix cancer Stage 1b on 12th July, I had my MRI on 16th July.

At my appointment on 12th July it was explained that govement guidlines have to be followed, well I personal feel that is crap!

I have deceided that I want a hysterectomy, after much thought, I have completed my family. I have got a good care package set up to assist with looking after my children, 4, 15, 16 year old. My 4 year does not not start main school till late September due to fact he just scrapes into this years intake, exams permitting 16 year old starts colledge, and 15 year old is so laid back I sometimes have to poke her to make sure she awake

But hear we are now 2nd Aug, and I dont know what happening, I have now cancelled my family holiday which booked 20th August for 2 weeks just in case, before you say 'ask the specilist team' I have and they cant advise me.

I also work which means I do shift work, some weeks I start at 0600 others start at 1400 and next week start at 2200 , and must admit that they have been good, even sent my to company dr, to much sure I am fit to work, before any treatment starts, but I am really sruggling on a personal note, I feel so tied, not eating / sleeping, and got told today by my local GP I need to lose weight, I am somewhere between 20-21st as it not doing my knees any good. Believe me I KNOW I need to but I am still having a discharge after my LLETZ, so I cant go swimming, so I have been doing a lot of walking, but when I go down slopes or stairs my right knee gives way.

I have read so my things about cervix cancer / hysterectomy through other web sites, but for some unknow reason both Jo's Cervical Canver Trust & Macmillan dont seem to have many people out there that are being treated or had this surgery, so please anybody out there please either comment or become my friend, because at the moment I feel so alone.

Also I want to raise awarness of Cervix Cancer is there any uk based charity, that selling awarness pins? Again I have found some but they are either based in uk or on ebay, I sorry unless I know is going back into research I not buying them, but it seams the colour to support is teal / white

Sorry this has turned it a sought of rant, but once I got writting I could not stop, I will be copying this and putting it on my blog on Macmillian site.

Love to everybody

Karen x

Smear - 25th Feb 2011
Colposcopy - CIN 3 - 21st March 2011
LLETZ - 13th June 2011
Diagnosed -12th July 2011 Cervix Cancer Stage 1b
Awaiting treatment

I am bloody scared & dark clouds

2011-07-26T12:27:50Z

It all come to a head yesterday, I just wanted to get everything off my chest, maybe I am tied but it came I admitted to Tim that I am bloody scared, I might still laughing and joking at work or with friends, but I let this horrible feeling surfaced.

I was thinking what if ....... I call this the dark side I got 3 children aged 4, 14, 16 a wonderful partner of 3 years whom has a 13 son, my family won't except him, so I am natural worried what will happen to them.

I am worried I like to be in control I run my life and my family like the army I have calendars & diaries everybody knows what happening, it works for me. But we just cancelled our 2 weeks family holiday because I know my luck I will taken in to be operated on and I wont be fit enough to enjoy / take part, I now feel I have to make up to the family, but all I hear from my partner is your most health is more important the kids will understand, but his son does not!!!! but but I cant keep my my life on hold and it horrible. I can't shake this dark cloud off.

I have even writing my will, that how dark my cloud is.

Rug pulled from underneath me

2011-07-20T13:55:07Z

Today I just feel so sad, my aunt died this morning of cancer, strange thing we are not a close family, I have not seen my aunt & uncle for about 3 years. But today i just feel so sad.

Maybe my emotions are all over the place so maybe this is why I feel down.

Back to work after 17 days off with stress

2011-07-19T09:07:39Z

Now had my MRI scan last Saturday, now awaiting to hear this Friday if I am required to see dr next Tuesday.

Went back to work yesterday, I work for a railway company so I do shift work, so I am on late turn this week, saw my manager who did my return to work, he had not got a clue, trying to make out I was not off with stress and that the gp certicates were not true, I let him have his 5 mins and then claming advised him that i need next Tuesday off as I have hospital appointment and when I explained why he face was a picture.

Iam now hoping to see my line manager today as I have so many questions to ask, as I know that I have trigger the MFA but as it all connected they can I believe link together so you dont get a serve warning. I ask you been working for thr same company for the last 6 years, first time off serious sick and boom.

Iam hoping that HR will be able to give my some guidence as well.

How I got here to be told

2011-07-18T16:33:12Z

I am a firm believer of having smears, so on 25th January I had my smear done by my local nurse, thought nothing of it.

I was a little surpised how quick the results came back, but again nothing to worry about, but due to admornal smear was refered to hospital.

So on 21st March off I go to Frimley Park Hosptal to see them where a copoloposy was done, everything was explained before they did the examiation, and even when you lying there I could not fault the dr or nurses. Was told results will be back in about 6 weeks time.

On 21st May a letter as awaiting for me, confirming that I was yet again required to be seen by hospital but this time a LTTEZ would have to be done, now this is when the doubt started.

13th June saw me back at hospital, same nurses and same dr, I just knew we were at the next stage, because the nurse kept asking me if I was ok, believe me keep asking I get frightened, again told results back in 6 weeks time.

Due to silly things going wrong at work and that another story, I went and saw my own gp and it turned out I was now very highly stressed and was promptly signed off work, I dont do stress, I dont do time out, but even now I releaised something had to give, so I took my gp adviced and had the next 17 days off work.

On 8th July whilst at home feeling a little better I received a call that would put my life on hold, it was from Frimley Park Hospital, advising me I would need to be seen by the dr next Tuesday and I need to bring someone with me. Boy was I glad I was not at work.

So on Tuesday 12th July it was confirmed I had Cervix Cancer with interesting problems, beieve me I never do anything straight forward, I have stage 1a but it might be 1b, as it not in the same place, it not the right depth / length to be 1a, so my dr is going to take a second opion.