since dad has been home i go up their house as soon as i have taken my son to school, my work have been fab, they said there is a job there when i am ready to go back.. am doing everything at mum and dads as mum is bi polar, am shattered, dr came tuesday, we have social services come in twice a day and yesterday st nicholas hospice nurse cam in, she was fab, one came today too, i was talking to her in the kitchen and dad went mad, he said we should talk in front of him, i told him that its hard as he is in total denial, i told him she was asking how i am, this is all so hard, yesterday and today i heard a horrible noise coming from dad, like a gurgly noise sounded like it was echoing in his lungs, think this was what they call the death rattle, horrible noise, really scared me, cant and wont forget that noise.. thought i was being so strong but crumbled today...
