My cancer journeyhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/my_cancer_journey1/atomTelligent Community (Build: 12.1.2.21912)2010-03-16T14:20:36Zanother day gone and still finding it hard to copehttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/my_cancer_journey1/posts/another-day-gone-and-still-finding-it-hard-to-cope2010-03-18T22:31:58Z2010-03-18T22:31:58Z<p>its been a long day today. couldnt sleep last nite as mind was churning over stuff. woke up feeling like hell and exhausted. was seeing my oncologist today, so big day, the usual worries about 'hope my bloods are fine' hope this and that.. </p>
<p>anyhow got told my white cells are low so no chemo this week. he is going to review things next week. feel a bit worried as lots been going on since last week and I am sure its partly contributed to it all. also relieved as i am not in teh right state to m ind to have chemo. broke down infront of the oncologist teling him that i am really struggling and am worried i might not coping well. work issues, partner just left me, worries about new chemo treatment working... </p>
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<p>got a lot of sympathy from him and he signed me off for 3mths, recommending i rest. hard one as yes i do need rest, but am so worried i might get depressed being at home, as i will start thinking about all sorts of stuff, esp my broken relationship and depress myself. still thinking about waht i want todo.</p>
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<p>so tired now, but worried i might be able to sleep. bought myself some relaxation CD's. let you all know how these work. </p>
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<p>good nite</p>
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<p>Jas</p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=325132&AppID=30530&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermemberSo tiredhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/my_cancer_journey1/posts/so-tired2010-03-16T13:20:36Z2010-03-16T13:20:36Z<p>its just a gorgeous day out. just got back from a short walk to get a sandwich. I work near waterloo, london and its so busy with people rushing around, enjoying the weather today.</p>
<p>But i just feel so exhausted today. havent slept properly for the past few days following a recent breakup with my boyfriend. He broke up with me, but I dont know why. Something mumbled about, too hard for him, tough times, not working out.... who knows.</p>
<p>My anger is just consuming all my energy and thoughts and therefore i cannot function properly. Lack of sleep doesnt help either and being at work in this state is just so painful. Thankfully work is not hectic at present,but maybe that is what i need. My current state of mind, is affecting my body as I am just aching all over and suffering from back ache (having got secondaries in my bones). So not feeling very strong physically and everything is an effort for me.</p>
<p>Question whether things will get better. best carry on with work now and see how the rest of the day pans out </p><div style="clear:both;"></div><img src="https://community.macmillan.org.uk/aggbug?PostID=324351&AppID=30530&AppType=Weblog&ContentType=0" width="1" height="1">Former Memberhttps://community.macmillan.org.uk/members/formermember