vulva cancer and me

2009-11-05T11:34:10Z

Just a few months ago i was your average 22 year old, i was in uni studying for a marketing degree when i suddenly had a painful sore appear on my vulva. At first i didn’t want to go to the doctors because I was embarrassed, I knew it couldn’t be a STI as I have been with the same partner for over 6 years and was a virgin when we met. Eventually i went just because it was so sore I had no choice, then the integration began I spent weeks being tested for different STI and being told I had herpes, which I knew wasn’t the case. I argued with the doctors and after a while, when the treatment didn’t work they sent me to a dermatologist.

By this point I couldn’t take any more I just wanted the sore to be gone, simple things like taking a pee were now agony. Then I had a biopsy done and a lot of skin removed. I felt good about this because I want sore anymore and thought it was a fixed. And then it was found to be cancer. I didn’t cry when I was told I had cancer I just looked smiling at the doctor and said ‘right ok’, I couldn’t cry it wasn’t real in my mind. I was on my own when I was told because I was expecting it. My boyfriend picked me up just after I got in the car and I felt numb. I told him straight away and he cried, that made me cry. I was more upset that I had upset him then the cancer at this point. Then came telling my family and friends. I felt the more people I told the more it became real. I couldn’t deal with it and I did consider committing suicide. I felt alone when I was surrounded by people and I could take one more person telling me it will be ok. All I thought about was I am going to die? And as cliché as it sounds I can’t help thinking why me? I was then told that the skin removed was more then 1.8 mm deep which meant all the skin had to be removed and a scan to see if my lymph nodes had cancer in them. I was told that if my lymph nodes were swollen they would have to be removed, I have never been so scared, the scan came back positive for cancer and I sat there in the doctor’s room being told how big the operation was and that I could still need radiotherapy after. In my head the word cancer echoed and the words felt painful to say. What now??? I blogged my experience to myself on my laptop as I was unable to get on the internet in the hospital and now I am going to post in on here in the hope that someone else with vulva cancer will be able to seek information that has come from someone who has been there not a clinical cold leaflet the doctor hands out. I wish you all the best in your cancer journey and hope the info helps someone. xxx

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vulva cancer and me