Tamoxifen

2011-06-22T09:37:22Z

My wife has had surgery, chemo and radiotherapy for breast cancer. She is now in her 2nd of 5 years on tamoxifen. She is having all the predicted side effects and she finds it very tough.

I find it tough too in a way. Because she doesn't want a physical relationship with me she won't touch me, or allow me to touch her. It hurts most when we are with other people and she is happily tactile and affectionate with them. It feels like I am the last person she would want to hug. I wondered how partners of other tamoixifen users are finding it.

I love my missus

2010-11-29T02:41:41Z

My wife has done so well with her fight against breast cancer. She has been braver than I can ever imagine someone could be. She has had breast cancer, treated with surgery a couple of times, chemo, radiotherapy and now hormone therapy. I think she is finding this last one the hardest as she struggles to sleep which is a torture in itself.

Even though I have lived with her through her experience I still have no idea what it must be like. The mental battle has perhaps been harder than the physical one.

I love her very much; we have a 10 year old son who is an inspiration in himself! She has not found it easy to talk to me about how she feels which leaves me with anxiety about how her cancer has changed our relationship.

If I look simply at the signs - how she is with me - then I sense she no longer has any affection for me. I have struggled to talk to her about this for fear of annoying or upsetting her, or, I suppose, of learning some truths that I do not want to hear. And so I feel like I am married to cancer and have lost my wife.

Last night I asked her if we could try to talk about our relationship with a counsellor. I hope she will agree to this.

Married to cancer

Tamoxifen

I love my missus