LyndaT's blog

Feeling Good

2009-02-05T10:18:29Z

Hi every body, well as I was reading through my previous Blogs and all the new ones that you guys have posted, I realized that I almost always posted a blog when I was feeling ill or had a problem, well to day I feel good, and I don't have any problems. Certainly none you haven't already helped with, so I Thought it would be nice just too come on and say hello you guy's hope your all feeling at least as well as I do today. Huggssss &&&&& Kissessssss all round.

compassionate leave

2009-02-01T09:45:04Z

My eldest son has just gone back to kuwait after 10days compassionate leave, and I'm gutted, because the next time I see him will be next June, unless of course, I'm actually dying, in which case I will probably too doped up to know he's even there. So as you can imagine I hoping for June to come pretty quick, I hope he gets home safe, but I not ready to give up my fight just yet, even if it means getting him home safe for a while, again. Though I must admit I am getting tired,but I've got lots of good friends on here and on hand so to speak, and family, who keep me rallied, and I know that my boy wouldn't want me to give up the fight,especially not before he could get back and spend some quality time with me again.

Going for gold.

2009-01-22T09:18:11Z

First of all thank you for all your wonderful comments on my blog 6 months to live.Whilst I agree with all who said "Don't believe em," and "go for gold" its just a little difficult at the moment as I'm suffering from the side affects of the Radium treatment that they gave me because I responded so well to the Chemo. The cancer wasn't supposed to come back for possibly years, but as with everything that happens to me it decided to come back whilst I was feeling too rotten to fight. Macmillan Nurse is coming today to help me with all the different side affects, such as nausea tiredness,(exhaustion, is what I'd call it,) and a touch of the weepies, so hopefully once there under control I'll be able to take the bull by the horns...live life to the full...go for gold...etc..etc...Certainly a weekend in gay Paris would be nice, but do know what ? Right about now managing a trip to town would do. I promise to keep strong and I promise to keep you all posted.

6 mths to live.

2009-01-21T17:24:39Z

Had to go back into hospital last week, finally allowed home on Friday 16th., with the very hard to hear information, that the cancer had come back with a vengeance, and to top it all off I had probably less than 3-4 months left to live. I've pretty much accepted this now, and believe it or not I am OK with it, I think my Mum and my Husband are being superheroes the way that they have been able to deal with it all. My Husband is 50yrs old and should be contemplating a retirement with me his wife of 30yrs, not widowhood. No parent should have to bury their child and yet when I die and am buried my mum will have buried two of hers, also a Grandson, and two Great-grandsons makes one wonder how much the human spirit can cope with,but if my mum is anything to go by at the moment, certainly her spirit is indomitable. So their the one's that are keeping my spirits up,and beside's haven't we all heard about the guy who was told that he had six months to live, and lived for 10yrs. Well I just wanted to keep you all in the loop, as you've all been so supportive, since I found you guys a few weeks ago. I'll keep you up to date, and if I do get too ill to manage I'll get my children (two grown boy's) to let you know whats going on and where I am todate.

wills

2009-01-07T10:25:03Z

Look I know that I'm not going to die tomorrow or even next week, but for what ever reason I couldn't sleep last night, I have no money, no life insurance, I've put enough money (I hope) into an ISA account in my hubby's name to bury me, and then all there is is a joint savings account with a couple of quid in it and a constantly overdrawn current account in my name, we don't own our own home or anything so would there be any need for a will, after all I've got nothing to leave,except maybe a few bills.lol. I don't know the daft stuff that worry you through the night,still if we didn't worry when we can't sleep what would we think about?

side affects

2009-01-06T10:37:02Z

Only yesterday morning I was replying to one of the members blogs that the side affects of Radium get better in time,as yesterday morning I felt well, unfortunatley by the afternoon I felt awful again,not bad this morning but I don't trust it lol.Don't want to bother the Lung nurses got a Dr's appt on the 15th so hoping to hold out till then, was warned that side affects could last up to 2 months, so only 5 weeks left,already lost a stone and a half,due this bloody awful illness keep if I keep feeling sick and not eating properly for the next 5 weeks I'll be a slender size 8 or maybe even a 6, though I think that might be a bit too small, before I know it. Well there has to be some good news.lol.

Hung over and didn't even have a drink

2009-01-01T18:50:13Z

I've been tired all morning slept all afternoon, and thrown up all evening, and all this without a drink,still I enjoyed my self even stayed out till midnight, but got to admit I resent the hang over, I thought that when I stopped drinking after they told me that I had cancer of the liver as well as the lung, that at least my days of dying from alcohol poisioning were over, but it seems that I get the exact same symptoms just from being over tired. Still never mind had all day to get over it, and it not the 1st birthday that I've spent under the duvet on the sofa, and with any luck it won't be my last.

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T14:36:42Z

Happy New Year to one and all. Happy Birthday to me 48 tomorrow, have promised my self a fab 50th in a couple of years time. Thanks for all the gentle kicks up the bottom you guy's, unfortunatley can't walk the dogs on my own just yet, get breathless and wobbly legged too easy, but I have been in town with my daughter-in-law today, and am going to the pub for an hour tonight.Should be ok as long as I get a chair with my lemonade, and don't stay out too long. Probably means that tomorrow will be spent under the duvet, but thats ok I'll make an effort on Friday.PROMISE.

Tired or just bone idle

2008-12-30T10:50:19Z

They told me that one of the side affects of Radium would be lethergy, so ok the odd day on the sofa I thought, but its been weeks now, and unless I have something specific to do or some where specific to go, such as out for lunch on xmas day, I find my self lounging about all day, with just the mundane tasks of making the tea in time for my hubby getting home from work feeling like too much bother.Ok there are day's when I really am just too tired to do anything, but I'm slowly coming to the realization that motivation seems to be key,think I need someone to give me a kick up the backside, anyone out there fancy the job.

Christmas has once again come and gone.

2008-12-26T14:25:24Z

Christmas has once again come and gone, the presents have been opened the turkey has been eaten,and we've all fallen asleep in front of the telly. I'm glad that I am able to report that our family meal was excellent, and that a good time was had by all, all 20 of us. The venue was wonderful and the chef did an excellent job, there was a pianist in the background, the waiting staff were excellent and the atmosphere was wonderful, even the children, some of which had been up since 4am, were well behaved. I am very tired today though, paying for my gluttony, after all I managed to eat a few mouths full of every course, and if you include the coffee and mints, of which I had two, there were 5 courses in all, after weeks of hardly eating enough to keep a sparrow alive, I ate alot of food yesterday. I hope that you all had as nice a day as I had, and that like me you awoke this morning feeling fairly content with your lot.

tired today

2008-12-21T17:49:00Z

My darling hubby with some persuasion from me went to a party last night, and came home just fresh enough to spend the whole night snoring and talking in his sleep. I nearly sent for his much threatened Thai bride my self, let her put up with him.LOL.Anyway the up shot is that I've been tired all day,due to lack of sleep. Still he deserved a night off, and I've had all day and I've got all night to recouperate before my grandchildren, who have travelled all the way from Germany arrive tomorrow, with my daughter-in-law. I can't wait, they get back to England maybe 3 times a year, so we really look forward to seeing them, course its always nice when my son can get home too, but unfortunatly as a serving soldier its not always possible,still he'll be home for Easter, and in the mean time I'll make do with his wonderful children, who seem in the way that all children have to be able to put all things into persective. Although I have know doubt I'll be exhausted by the time they go home, I can't wait for them to get here. At 7 and 5 their always a breath of fresh air,the 5 year old, my grand-daughter, told me when I first lost my hair, that as long as I wore boys jeans and jumper, no one would stare at me as they would all just think I was a boy. The logic of children is amazing... and quite right.

Xmas shopping done.

2008-12-20T14:34:27Z

Just finished xmas shopping, feeling a little tired now, but I'm ok. Everything is ready for the big day, can't wait, daughter-in-law will be home with our grandchildren, and the whole family will be going out for christmas lunch, about 20 of us in total. Should be a grand day, and then of course its my birthday a week later, so more celebrations, lots to live for, got to reach the big 50 yet, that will be a celebration and a half, if my lot have anthing to do with it, but got to keep going for a couple of more years yet, which of course I fully intend to do.

Side affects of treatment.

2008-12-19T14:27:47Z

Ok I had Chemo every three weeks from the end of August until the end of October, no problems at all, just lost my hair, no big deal, they gave me a lovely blonde wig at the hospital. Chemo worked great, then went on to have Radium, SCLC is a sneeky little devil that can get in the brain, where the Chemo can't go, so of I went and had five treatments to my brain, and guess what, it just go's to show you get away with nothing in this life, I seem to have got every single side affect they said I could.Still I'm alive, knackered, bald, feeling sick most of the time and a burned forehead, but none of that matters, after thirty years of married life, I'm determined not to let him have all the fun, besides which I love him too much to leave him behind.He'd only surf the internet for a Thi bride if left to his own devices,can't be having none of that.lol.