Lisa

anxiuos

2011-02-28T13:40:14Z

I have a simulater at christies on Friday the the radio therapy begins next week. I also get the results of my first scan since the op. Have to say after being diagnosed with cancer dont you feel everything is magnified. Is it just me or is it evry ache, pain, twitch you just cant help but fear the worst. I daren't say anything to my hubby i dont know how much more he can take. he isnt coping very well. I catch him sometimes just looking at me like its the last time he is ever going to see me. then you start looking into your pension at work making sure you have critical illness cover looking at the mortgage stuff its all very depressing. Then the kids come home from school and the painted smile comes out to play.

I dont sit in on my own thinking bad thoughts and i do feel im very positive but its bloody hard work staying like that all the time. I dont get depressed I have what i call angry moments i feel i could take on the world and win in a fight. Then im ok again. Bizarre. Then you get calls from freinds ask how you are and then start moaning about something trivia. GET a grip i think. Never say it outloud I just listen.

kick me when im down

2011-02-23T19:09:40Z

WHY

Seen the doctor at christies and he blew my mind with statitics. I can cope but christ i think they are trying to kill my husband. I know the odds, I know they have to tell me but im trying my hardest to stay postive and they keep trying to kick me while im down.

Then to top things off I had to go to work today for an emergency meeting and there is a 50% chance that I could lose my job before im better to go back to work. Bloody council and there cuts.

Never did like maths and statistics in school. Well im not letting yo get to me so i tell you 100% im ok.

the beginning

2011-02-16T19:39:58Z

im new to this but weirly find this quite helpful just randomly typing not knowing whether anyone will read or not.

I was diagnosed with a soft tissue sarcoma on new years eve 2010. (i know happy new year). Luckily this tumor was removed within a week of being diagnosed by a wonderful Dr in Manchester. The tumor was in the top part of my leg so not just removed but also had my hamstring reconstructed.

I am now about to embark on radiotherapy treatment at th Christie hospital.

I think i have stayed very positive throughout, but my new Dr is all about statistices and i know they have to tell you the good and the bad but id rather have better odds lets just say.

Apparently my form of cancer is quite rare and the many sites i have joined i am yet to find anyone with the same condition.

I will continue to look Good luck me on my treatment.