laurenstacy's blog

good feelings

2009-09-04T17:12:50Z

Today I woke up with a great attitude. Now that I do understand everything with my situation and my dr.'s decisions I feel so much better. Reading some blogs I see how everyone is dealing with all of this. I know I will have down time at times. I feel fortunate to have 3 little girls to keep my mind busy and going forward. This will hang over our heads for life. However, the hardest time is at night laying in bed trying to sleep. The crazy thoughts that run through my mind goes on forever. Sometimes keeping me up for hours. I take pills to help me sleep but I do not want to become dependant on them for life. On the same note, if it gives me and my family a better quality of life I will do it. Does anyone else have this problem? The weather is gorgeous here now. That alone can really lift your spirits. I also joined weight watchers. I lost about 8lbs now... My goal is 50lbs. I think about getting my body in shape for the new boobs I will be getting in a year or so. After 3 kids they were not the same. hahahahaha...... I also feel better cause of everyone on this blog site. It is amazing how support through blogs can be so very helpful and thank you all for your kind words, support and love. I hope everyone feels great and remember that each new day is a gift for everyone with or with out any kind of illness. Hug your family & friends today. Tell your kids, family and friends you love them on a daily basis. Have a great weekend. xoxo Lauren Ryan

AWESOME NEWS!!!!!!

2009-08-31T14:22:18Z

MY LUNGS ARE ALL CLEAR.... NOTHING IN THERE ABOUT CANCER. IT WAS JUST A STUPID XRAY PICK UP ON SOMETHING WHATEVER I DON'T CARE.... IM CLEAR!!!!!

not such a good call today..but not so bad either... what do you think

2009-08-26T17:43:26Z

had a chext xray last week. they called today to say they found 2 nodules on my lungs. but the dr. is not concerned. i have to go for a ct scan on friday... to see if the xray missed others and to rule out anything these nodules can be.... funny thing is that 3 months ago when i had my other ct scan... my lungs were cleared.... arrgghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

how primary angiosarcoma began with me........

2009-08-20T12:37:35Z

hello everyone... my prayers and best wishes go to everyone who is diangnosed with cancer. i was recently this past March diagnosed with primary angiosarcoma. It happened in my right breast. my husband noticed bruising under my breast and asked me what happened. i had no clue what he was talking about. i then went to look in the mirror and when i lifted up my breast i could of dropped. i never saw a bruise that big on my breast!!!! i called my dr and she took me in right away. she said that she would not worry about it. that it looks like a trauma to the breast. i assured her that i would of felt that hit and i didn't get hurt at all. and just on that little worry she sent me for a mamo and also put into my insurance company to get a mri done. imagine this... my insurance company denied the mri due to lack of evidence. now my bioligical mother had it in both her breasts... 2 lil tumors that she got out in time.. and a great aunt died of breast cancer to..... and they still denied it!! if you are reading this and is unsure about something in ur breast or any other body part... PUSH the issue and get that mri... some way, some how, fight for it. and don't give up even if it turns out to be nothing.... this is why: my dr. was concerned only cause i didn't remember getting hurt. she never saw anything like this. so she really said.. i wouldn't worry.. but i still want you to get checked... so with the denial of mri i went and did the mamo... while we were waiting on that... my dr. sent me to the surgeon here on staten island, ny, to take a look and push the mri. the surgeon also said it looks like a bad bruise. again, i told him i didn't get hit or i would of remembered. and this concerned him to. but he was sure it was a trauma. however he went for the mri approval. i asked him what if they deny it again. he said "that's when i get on the phone and get it." i was sure it will be approved. and it was. and i get it. and now i need a biopsy due to 2 masses and 1 other small one. so i go get the biopsy and i learned there that i do have a form of breast cancer. they were awesome in telling me and helping me tell my mother. the results are in and my husband and i go to the surgeon on april 30, 2009 for an 8:30 pm appt. he sat us down and started talking. i felt like i was in a lifetime movie drama. it was the most surreal time in my life, besides 9/11, that i had. i remember him telling me that in his 27 yrs of practice he never seen this before. he said that removal of the breast will be the best solution and possible treatments. he also told me to get a second opinion. which i was that next day at memorial sloan kettering in manhattan. i first saw a breast cancer dr who could not take my case cause it went out of her field of expertise. she then recommended me to dr. murray brennan. whom i saw the next day. all this time i am NOT going on the internet. and told everyone do not tell me anything. i know i would not of handled it well. so far i am cruising along with an incredible optimistic attitude... i knew that dr. brennan would fix me when i met him. and he did. i had a masectomy with a skin graph on may 19. today is august 20th and i am 100% healed. my margins are also clear and i do not need any treatments. all i do is watch and wait now. dr. brennan is optimistic about it not reoccuring but can't promise that. i feel good about that. however.... i only read about 1 person being 5 yrs with out reoccurance and 1 person going 15 yrs. i haven't found any others. i did go on the internet when i came home from the surgery. and read up on everything i could find to educate myself on what i am looking forward to. i was ready to see it all. does anyone out there also have primary angiosarcoma of the breast?????? can anyone help me with any more information. yes i spoke to my dr. about it and he was straight forward and also emphasized that each patient is different... don't forget that one to.