lanzarote's blog

shattered life

2010-06-25T10:52:41Z

What happens in life , that makes it so hard

what turned me from bright , into being retard

when I were young , I ruled all my life

looking for fun, love, banter , a good wife

I got all these things , probably more than my share

I had love, laugher, money, well , enough not to care

Then one day , a doctors appointment,

perhaps a pill ,tablet .potion or ointment

no ,said the doctor , there is no answer,

I sorry to say , that you have cancer

Waiting

2010-03-26T10:31:15Z

Waiting, waiting, waiting some more ,

5 days 4hrs till I know the score

Why should I bother to worry and fret

.all will be perfect again ,I bet!

Well perfect may not be the perfect word

I got terminal cancer , its bloody absurd!

The hands move or do they? ,time passes so slow

Roll on appointment , I just gotta know

Head pounding ,not knowing , heart thumping like mad

Will it be good news ,or will tidings be sad?

Scans have been seen , records all read

Its in their hands whether Im gonna be living, or dead

Its another day at the office, another hard slog,

they know whats happening , but my minds agog,

I look at the dial , another minute as flown,

I wonder if theres more mets in my bone

Come on appointment get here swift as can be,

I just want to know , WHATS HAPPENING TO ME !

2010

2009-12-31T16:53:42Z

Just want to wish all my friends on here and all the people who are suffering this bliddy horrible disease,and their carers a great new decade and hope that very soon we have major break throughs in the treatment and cure of it ! Thanx to all at macmillan for your support and caring ! Chat or not , this is still a priceless site , Keep smiling and keep up the splendid work that you all do ! Cheers xxx

this site

2009-11-25T19:40:55Z

Hiya All , I have just been on the chat and nobody is on there , Sunday morning and nobody about ! I cant " believe it "! lol. Is it because of all the infighting? I think that people should remember what this site is , or should I say used to be ! A place to debate , help ,Laughter, tears and what ever else for genuine people with genuine concerns about cancer and its related matters. Please people for the sake of other cancer sufferers and their carers, lets stick to the script and help each other , lets have the old genuine wn spirit back ! Sadly many of the old set dont come on here now because ," things aint what they used to be" ! Sending all genuine people on here all love and ((((((hugs)))))) Keep smiling , Geoff xxx

selfish!

2009-11-03T09:39:31Z

I wish I could do it , and do it in style,

but when I try I miss by a mile

to let myself go, with emotion and cry

Im bloody well losing , and affraid to die!

every one dies I know that is true,

but that is others , not me and you!

it happens to others , its others that go

people out there , that we dont know

and if I sound selfish, your bloody well right

I aint going nowhere, so hold on tight !

the ride may be bumpy, the travel long

but we will be singing the same ole song!

Why worry , why worry , worry gets you nowhere at all!

just thoughts

2009-08-20T11:28:02Z

I cried today , I dont know why perhaps because I dont want to die I feel for you people that suffer too do we deserve what we got through? perhaps its to prepare us for some other life But I dont want to go ,and leave my wife I love her too much to leave her some day but I do find it hard to learn how to pray you see Im a man who can and who will go forward and conquer , I know I can still I cant entertain the thought of not being here never to have again , my Saturday night beer! never to be with the people I adore I dont want to know what may be in store well, maybe Im saying just what others think so enjoy and keep smiling and ,be in the pink!

some days

2009-08-19T08:36:19Z

Some days I wake and dont know what to do, feeling morose , unsure and blue. What is it that makes me feel this way, I dont know for sure, but it wont go away. most days Im happy , bubbling with life, but days like this , fear, turmoil and strife. FB will cheer me , so will What Now, both bringing a smile to my furrowed brow. I will talk to the people, people with good sense, a joke, a smile and laughter, will make me less tense. Then I will realise its not all doom and gloom but love , banter ,laughter, lifes good , boom boom! keep smiling! xxxx

yesters

2009-06-24T09:42:54Z

Yesterday I posted a poem on here all mixed up and full of fear it was about dark days and nights and how this world is full of frights when I pushed the button to let u all see it disappeared from you and me now its true, no one will see the darkest ,blackest side of me Good Job as well! Keep smiling !

Caz & I

2009-06-08T08:42:43Z

its thirteen years today since we were married,but we have had 28 years of pure bliss . We have laughed alot and recently cried alot, but life goes on and so does our love for each other. I dont know how I would cope without Caz, I know what she means when she says" I dont know what I ll do when you have gone" . The things that we do together now , even cutting the grass as took on bigger proportions as Caz wants to be able to use the mower , how to start it , how to leave it when its finished with, how to wire a plug, change a fuse, replace a tap washer, check the tyre pressures, check the oil and top it up! She is even beginning to use the computor now! The point is how the hell could I possibly leave her, I aint going to , so mr c ! you aint got a chance, bog off now and forever ! Keep smiling my friends !

errrmm!

2009-05-25T20:49:45Z

I wish I could be funny , I want to make you smile, to relieve you of your troubles, just for a little while, It would be rather lovely if I could make you think of something glad forget the pains and anguish , that makes you feel sad! to walk through sunny fields and hear the birds at song what a lovely sound, never mind the country pong! to pass the babbling water, to see the bright blue sky see the cattle in the meadow , sheep on hill ,high to think of better moments, of times that you do treasure of things that have happened and gave you lots of pleasure but I cant think of any funnies, that will make you smile and laugh, so I 'll turn the off the computer and go and have a bath! Forgive me , I aint done one for a while , Keep smiling !

I wish!

2009-02-06T09:08:34Z

I was walking my dog max, the other day When a well worn,93, man came the other way Morning! I said as he passed bye I noticed a tear welling in his eye. I notice your sad I said , being bold, I aint being sad , Im just bloody old! Ive had my life , I know thats true but I wish I had left ,as much as you good day to you sir, I said, as he went on his way If only he knew, what I know today!

consequences of misdiagnosis

2009-01-19T19:26:23Z

Eighteen months the specialist said, eighteen months and you ll be dead, so off we go to make our past, just hope that our money will last thirtysix months have gone and flown, thankfully the cancer aint grown but all the finances have been spent, dont know where, but off it went to the dwp , cap in hand ,ask them please, where do we stand? sorry we cant help you now, we want to know what, where, when and how! your not ill enough for us to pay , apply again , another day! so now we are alone and cold. just fading away and getting old now when your get diagnosed,you might as well just suppose that those that tell you , prepare to die, are just telling you a bliddy great lie! Keep smiling

laughter

2009-01-08T08:56:14Z

Can I make you laugh, I wonder if I can, Should I try to be serious, or act the stupid man. How can I make you smile the way I want you to, Shall I say something stupid, like I always do? Shall I try to be clever, a bit Like Steven fry, Or like Laurel and Hardy, with pancake in the eye! Is it too windy to take photos , was once asked of me, That made me laugh, laugh aloud, till I had to pee! Its funny what we laugh at, and that , that makes us grin. But smile and laugher is a must , through thick or thin! Shall I blog this rubbish? ............ Keep smiling!

Now

2009-01-02T09:37:24Z

Gone, have Christmas and the new year too, Turkeys and Gammon and mince pies are few, But thoughts of you all ,are here just the same as before, And that one big thing, that we just cant ignore. We have had pressies and laughter, and spirits and beer, We wished each other ,merry christmas and happy new year! And what happens now , no one can tell, Is it back to uncertainty, worry and hell? Do we start again and try to be strong? Carry on with laughter , merriment and song Or give in to this beast ,within us all If we do, that will be ,our final downfall! So on your phones, people, keep dialing And in the end , we all must .. Keep smiling !

Lifes Mystery!

2008-12-20T12:36:46Z

I walk along lifes highway,where it leads no one knows, I try to find out where I am, but on and on it goes. Can anyone tell me where I am, and where Im heading to, What lies along the way, and how I will get through. I wish I had the answers, laid out , all correct and fine, perhaps I ll find the reasons , somewhere down the line. Im asking all these questions, no one knows, Im sure, The answers to my queries, and why and what lifes for. If you do please tell me , let me know please do, If I knew the answers, I would do the same for you!