keepsmilingxx

update on my epi-cmf

2011-03-19T21:49:13Z

Well hello again :-) thought i would give you all an update as i aint been on here in a while.... Im so pleased to say that i do still have a full head of hair after finishing the scalp cooling while having epirubicin, i did however on my last epi loose most of my eyelashes. I found this a bit upsetting but to be honest just using top liner made them not to obvious.

My first round of cmf went rather to well and i moved house the very next day after treatment... day 8 of cmf though was a different matter as i have to have my gcsf injections then, does anybody else have these as im now in such pain when the injections start kicking in, for hours i can sometimes almost be struggling to breathe as the pain in my back, ribs, hips and knees is so bad!!! The constipation soon cleared up though and i ended up going the other way!! All of this has been discussed with oncology and they have decided to reduce the F part of the cmf down to 50%.

Im currently on day 10 of my 2nd round of cmf so i started my injections again yesterday and im just hoping that im not in so much pain this time, the tiredness isn't as bad on the cmf but i do find that it tends to drag and im getting really fed up with it all now, especially when its a half an hour walk to take my kids to school

Hope your all well,

Emma :-) xxx

Reached my goal!!

2011-01-22T21:54:53Z

Well when i first started chemo my goal was to survive the epirubicin, on thursday just gone i finally had my last round and i am SOOOOO happy to announce that i will never have to go through scalp cooling again!! For anyone considering scalp cooling i can honestly say that as painfull as it was, and very time consuming ive actually had fantastic results and still have a full head of hair. I will be taking pictures and sending them to oncology for other people to look at!! I now have my 3 week break and then i begin CMF i have got 4 months of that and boy does it seem a long way away!! Bring on the day that my line is out and im healed and can finally have a soak in the tub!! The epirubicin really knocked me about and on the advice from my mac nurse i applied for dla and was awarded it, this now means on my good days i have a bit of money to treat the kids and give them a break from this nightmare!! On top of the whole cancer/chemo life that i lead im now stuck with finding somewhere to live as i have to be out of my private property in 3 weeks, didnt pay a deposit on this house so i have nothing to fall back on!! Ah well things could always be worse aye.... just wish somebody up there would give me a break!!!

I hope your all well guys and sorry i aint been on here in a while just needed to get my head together a bit.

Love Emma xxx

Is ready to start kicking some friends to the kerb!!!!

2011-01-03T14:51:37Z

Hiya well i hope you all had a lovely xmas and great new year :-)

I had a wonderfull time with the kids, only to return home and find my boiler had leaked through to my living room... what a lovely treat for me!! I threw my landlord the keys to my house and stormed out crying and refused to return until the leak and the ceiling was fixed, i cant wait to move now!!!

I had chemo again on thrusday, really struggled with the cold cap again and i cant wait until its over now. They have put me on new anti sickness drugs and i have to say they are fantastic i had no nausea at all this time round :-) One more round of epirubicin and then im onto cmf, which ive heard is complexed??

More moaning...... im sure my friends are ashamed to be seen with me!! Im getting so angry with them, when i got diagnosed they was constantly saying how they would be here to help out, or even just pop round for a cuppa.... suprise suprise none of them have!! I get a txt now and then saying that if i need anything then just to pick up the phone, do they not think i feel a burdan enough without me ringing them up asking them just to sit with me a while because i feel crap or down!!! Im sick of them arranging nights out with me then at the last minuite they cancel saying they have a sore throat or some poor excuse, only for me to find out that they actually went out without me!!!!

I really wouldnt wish this on anybody but i sooooo wanna scream to them to just put themselves in my shoes if only for a day and to realise just how lonely this journey is sometimes!!!

Well knickers to them all, i will soon be fighting fit and bk out partying and they sure as hell wont be getting invited!!

Take care all, thats my ranting over for today :-p

Love, Emma xxx :-)

Nearly christmasssssssssssssss :-D

2010-12-23T22:39:22Z

Hiya just want to wish all of you a very happy christmas!!!

Take care and try not to end up with to many hangovers!!! lol due chemo on the 30th so i will soon be back on here having a moan :-p

Love, Emma :-) xx

Round 2 of chemo and scalp cooling

2010-12-08T19:02:29Z

Ello everyone,

Well just to let you know that round 2 of chemo seems to be going much better then the first time round :-) Scalp cooling treatment still seems to be going well... i have still got a full head of hair (so far) although i no longer have to shave my armpits.... hardley a bad thing is it lol.

I now have injections day 1 after chemo which last for 5 days these are to boost my bone marrow and i noticed a massive difference i wasnt nowhere near as tired as i was round 1... then day 5 after chemo i take antibiotics and anti fungals for 7 days!! Getting sick of popping pills now.

My mac nurse came to see me, apparantly i shouldnt be feeling sick at all so shes changing all of my meds for me to a stronger dose. She said i also might be entitled to some extra financial support which really lifted my spirits, its bad enough fighting this diease let alone worrying about what money you have got coming in!!

Soooo so far so good and i just hope not to land myself in hospital again :-)

Hope your all keeping well,

Love Emma xx :-)

Will be writing a letter of complaint!!!

2010-11-27T18:07:51Z

Well guys as i write this im still in hospital :-( was admitted wednesday night after my temp going through the roof again and feeling very ill.

By the time i got to hospital my temp had reached 39.4 i was sat there shaking and in agony with my mouth!! my bp was something i have never seen before... they checked my bloods and i had no immune system, it was 1.2 not sure if that means anything to any of you, the next day temp still hadnt came down and my bloods was at 0.9 they was concerned as i should be at my best now not my worst!!

Anyway its now saturday and ive spent the day in tears, im stuck in isolation and cant leave my room, not good for a smoker lol im suprised i aint knocked any of the nurses out yet ;-) my blood count is now improving though and my temp has came down, im hoping and praying that they let me home tomorrow, im missing my kids sooooooooooo much :-( still being given antibioyics through my line though so not sure if they will let me!!! Anybody got a big pair of ladders so you can come and smuggle me out lmao.

Hope your all well

Love Emma xx :-)

Has been told she DOES have guardian angels lol

2010-11-24T14:07:12Z

Well what a bloody morning!!!!!

Woke up feeling so ill, shaking and feeling dizzy and still in so much pain with my mouth :-( took some painkilers then thought i best check my temperature.... it was 38.2 didnt bother ringing the hospital though as i had the mac nurse coming out to see me. She knew i wasnt well soon as she saw me even though this was the first time we had met, she checked my bp which was through the roof and so was my pulse she did my temp agin which was still high.

Then came the news i was dreading... pack your bags because your going into hosptial :-( she took my bloods from my arm she didnt want to use my line incase it was that which was infected she took them straight up to the hospital to get them checked then i had to wait for her to call me back and let me know what was going on......

What a relief, she said i definatley have guardian angels watching over me because my immune system was just hanging on in there!! :-) which meant i didnt have to go to hospital after all, after the drama ive had trying to get my prescription from the doctors ive now got to go and collect it from the hospital, im not allowed to take paracetamol or ibuprofen anymore ive got to have liquid morphine and antibiotics.Im just so relieved that i havent got to go into hospital you probably catch more bugs being in there lol and when you have 2 kids to look after as a single mom 3 -4 days in hospital is the last thing i want to hear they know i have an infection and they are pretty sure its in my mouth so im just hoping now that the tablets start to work tonight so that i dont have to have an ice lolly again for breakfast lol

Im just stresing a bit now about having chemo again next week when im still recovering my first dose!! She said she wont let this happen to me again though, not sure how she can prevent it but maybe they can keep a closer eye on me. My temp was fine yesterday so i cant help feeling pissed off that maybe if i would of had my prescription yesterday then i woulnt of been so bad today!!!

Anyway enough of my dramas hope your all well, and maybe tomorrow i will have something nice to write instead of moaning :-)

Take care

Emma xx :-)

Very sore mouth after round 1 of epi-cmf

2010-11-23T05:38:42Z

Well im very tired and grumpy only had about 2 hours sleep because im in so much pain with my mouth!!!

I stupidly thought round 1 of chemo wouldnt have that many side effects on me.... How wrong was i!!! And to think that they will get worse :-(

Im off to the doctors this morning to see if they can give me a stronger mouthwash, if the effects are going to get worse then on the plus side i will be a size 10 by the time chemos up lol. What i would give to wake up and have a cuppa instead of a mouthfull of oraldene first!!!

All the people on chat have been fantastic reccomending different meds to ease the effects of chemo and im not leaving the docs today until they give me some difflam as that seems to work well for people!!

Hope your all well, sorry for moaning but ARGHHHHHH it hurts :-( and thought this might make me feel better :-)

Take care,

Emma xx :-)

Round 1 of chemo and scalp cooling!!

2010-11-11T06:12:03Z

Hiya well yesterday i had my first round of chemo (epirubicin) and experianced scalp cooling.

Well just for once the hospital was running on time :-) there was a few tears because the nurse said my hickman line wasnt in the right place and was to far down.... then she didnt know if they could even use it as it had only been 48 hours since having it put in!!!

Anyway, i got set up on a drip the nurse then sprayed my hair with water and rubbed the conditioner in, we counted down to 3 and put the cap on my my head..... I laughed and said omg is this it?? lol it wasnt until she tightened the cap that i felt how cold it was. It was excruciating those first 15 mins thought my head would explode... at -5.9 0c!!! But i kept thinking of my daughter who is so scared of mommy having no hair and told myself not to be a wimp lol :-)

So side effects of round 1 havent been to bad, so far!! felt a bit sick last night and pretty bad cramps in my stomach legs and feet but it didnt last long and keep getting a dodgy taste in my mouth.

I always remind myself just how lucky i am to of caught this in time and it seems to help me through each hurdle, i stick my fingers up to the disease it to get through each day :-)

Hope your all well,

Emma xx :-)

Hickman line

2010-11-09T16:23:25Z

Well yesterday the 8th nov i had my hickman line fitted and i have to say it was as horrible as i had imagined :-(

I asked to be sedated as i was terrified of having a procedure done like this and still being aware of what was going on!! Just a shame the sedatives didnt work!!

I had 2 lots of sedatives at first and told them i felt no different what so ever, i ended up having 5 lots and still it made no difference which really upset me as i wasnt quite numb enough either.... they soon gave me another local though when i shouted out in pain and burst into tears!!

The doctors and nurses said they had no idea why the sedatives didnt work for me and had they have had that amount they would of been on the floor lol guess i must just be stubborn :-)

So 30 mins after the procedure and i was sent home :-) was horrifed by the amount of blood in my hair and the amount that was coming through 2 lots of dressing, im finding it very sore and trying to sleep last night with this in place was a nightmare!!!

Anyway enough of me moaning, as scarey as this was for me i still know that i have made the right choice with the chemo that im having least i wont be having lots of needles :-)

My hairdresser came round when i got back from the hospital and cut my hair into a bob for me ready for tomorrows chemo and scalp cooling, i was very touched when she never charged me for it and said it was a 'get well soon present' :-)

So tomorrow the fun and games of chemo will begin!!!!

Lets go this show on the road :-)

xxx

my journeyxx

2010-10-31T13:57:09Z

Hi everyone, im a 28 year old single mother of 2 wonderfull children. On the 15th of september i was diagnosed with breast cancer which came as a very big shock!!... I think you always believe it will never happen to you!! On the 4th october i had a wide local excision and 3 lymph nodes removed. Then came the dreaded waiting game.......... On the 20th october i was told that the surrounding tissue and lymph nodes were all clear!!! It was the most amazing feeling in the world to know that it was out of me :-)

I was told that it was 19mm (2cm) invasive ductal carcinoma with high grade DCIS, grade 3.

I have got to go bk to the hospital to see the oncologist, then i will begin the chemo :-( although this scares me i think its a very small price to pay!!! I have been advised that they want me to use the ' scalp cooling' as they have found a lot of women have had fantastic results using it. Has anybody else tried this??? Ive also got to have a line put in which im feeling very nervous about!!

What a rollercoaster of a emotions this journey has been, but i feel that the end is now in sight :-)

Well on the 26th october we went to see the oncologist ive been told i will have 6 months of chemo and 3 and a half weeks of radio, hickman line will be fitted next friday and chemo begins on the 10th november!! Would relly like to hear from anyone that has tried 'scalp cooling' and any hints and tips on getting through chemo, especially those first 12 weeks when im having epirubicin which i am told causes all the nasty side effects. xx