hi

2009-12-01T11:24:39Z

so i'm just writing this blog to introduce myself and why i am here.

Basically my girlfriend found out about 3 months ago that her mum's cancer has come back and she now has secondary breast cancer and after many appointments and tests they can only estimate that she has 'years' left.

This has literally broken my girlfriends heart and in turn is breaking mine. Her dad died when she was 5 and because she was adopted she has such a painfully close relationship with her mum, she is her best friend and to know that she probably wont live to see her getting married and have a family is devastating.

and the thing is, i have quite a complex relationship with my girlfriend as she does not class herself as a lesbian. She is with me because she fell for me, the person, not the sex/gender and therefore unless we stay together, she will end up with a man. However, her mum has serious problems with this, she cannot accept that her daughter wont 'define' herself and cant understand our relationship. This has caused a lot of arguments between them and puts further strain on the already difficult situation.

obviously this makes it hard for me to help the family and comfort them in this difficult time because i cant really get involved and its not really my place to. all i can do is look after my girlfriend and support her through this. and i guess thats why i'm here. i feel that it is just a strange situation in that i am very upset by it too but i dont have a close relationship with her mum so i cant really show that i feel sad about it. it just breaks my heart to see her so upset and i just want to do something to help.

i have started going to counseling so that i can get advice on how to deal with this and so i can be emotionally strong for her and support her.

well thats essentially a summary, i dont know if it makes sense, i guess i just want to speak to other people who may be in this situation, get some advice and know that i'm not alone.

just to introduce myself

hi