Here we go again......

2008-12-09T13:12:31Z

Last Thursday my wife began her 5th course (or regime as I term it) of chemotherapy. It seems a long time ago since her diagnosis, which was in August 2002. Since then there have been many ups and downs, many challenging times, lots of tears and laughs, lots of hopes and fears. A quick synopsis - diagnosed with Uterine LMS in Aug 2002 whilst pregnant, hysterectomy 2 weeks laters followed by 7 weeks radiotherapy. Several recurrences in the intervening years in several locations have been treated with 17 different surgical procedures, the 4 other chemo regimes and (I think) three courses of radio. So, she is undergoing chemo again - Gemcitabine and Docetaxal. This combination has previously had good results and we are hopeful again. She's back in on Thursday for day 8 dose and then the second cycle starts on 29th Dec and then after that cycle there will be the scan and the dreaded face to face with her consultant for the results. Update... Thanks for the comments. Really appreciated. It's difficult at times to know what to think. Most of the time I rationalise everything and concentrate on what I can control... the logistics and so forth. Every now & then the grim truth hits home and reality bites. I've never been the most verbose of individuals and it is difficult to talk to others. People want to understand and be empathetic, and I want them to understand, but know they never will and, in truth, I don't want them to. To do so would mean they are having or have had the same experiences and that is something I would wish on no-one. We both try to keep going in as normal a way as possible, but there are times (increasingly so, it has to be said) when I wonder why I bother doing the right, normal, run of the mill stuff. Ours is a life so extraordinary, so different from the lives of our friends and colleagues that I often feel isolated. Never lonely, but isolated. I'm sure others know what I mean and understand those feelings. Well, it's another morning and another day to get through as best as one can.

Jonny's blog

Here we go again......